Smoke And Mirrors
by CheesePie
Summary: When Sasori is taken in by the Akatsuki, a travelling... 'Freak Show', for lack of a better term, hefinds more then a simple bed to sleep in, as he was promised. Going into it hating the very thing that keeps him from living a normal life, Sasori will learn what it truly means to be... different.
1. S&M 1

**so time has come for me to write a new story. mainly because i really don't wanna do my homework. seriously, don't ask me where i keep getting inspiration for these things... though this one in particular probably stems from my facination with clowns and lights and carnivals... if at any point in this story, i write a sex scene featuring some sort of clown, inform me immediately.**

**doesn't anyone else find clowns sexy though?! I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE!**

**all the usual stuff, warnings about yaoi, DLDR... um yeah... not much to say about this one...**

**DISCLAIMER: *sighs* seriously i don't own.**

* * *

_Trapped in a cage of my own design._

Deidara frowned at the wall, wondering when he had written such a thing.

There were two factors in his life that made such a statement untrue; the first being that, he didn't view being in the Akatsuki as any sort cage or trap, and the second being that there was no cage on earth, not of his or anyone else's design, that could possibly keep him trapped in.

Now this wasn't just smug, _wrong_ belief on his part. No Deidara was a professional escape artist and had in fact, already escaped far worse than a simple cage. In fact, not two nights ago, he had narrowly avoided being sawed in half as part of his act.

He bet the guy holding the chain-saw was just _praying_ for him to slip up. But Deidara didn't do that. He had never had a problem like that and never failed to perform at his best.

Hidan was just a prick anyway, having actually _volunteered_ to be the one to take his life, should it come to it.

On the insistence of a few other members though, Deidara wouldn't be performing that particular trick again. Apparently it was _dangerous_, or something stupid like that. Not that he particularly cared. Life was transient and about the freedom of being able to do stupid, dangerous things without worrying about the consequences.

Life was about right now. Not about later and worrying if you'd still be alive to enjoy it.

That's the way he had always viewed it anyway.

He grabbed a randomly coloured marker from his collection – yes, he collected markers among other things – and scribbled a brand new line beneath the old, out-dated one.

_Life is a gift, let's take it for granted._

Before he threw the marker back into the pile and smiled briefly at the wall. It was only upon stepping back, that he realised he had just covered the last free spot on the empty side of his room. he'd decided to work mostly on that side, writing small entries day by day to fill up the space, in case he got a roommate sometime soon and wasn't able to finish.

He didn't like the thought of leaving something unfinished.

And he couldn't wait to blow this caravan the fuck up. As long as Itachi didn't tell on him, it was going to be fucking awesome! And then he would likely be murdered by leader, but that didn't necessarily matter.

Today was the last day they would be in this particular part of town. The circus was moving on again – yeah, _circus_ – and they'd be gone before sunrise tomorrow. But they still had another show to put on tonight for the good people of…

Wait, where the hell were they?

Ah well, it didn't matter. It wasn't like he'd be speaking to the people directly, unless his act called for it which it probably wouldn't. And even if it did, he'd probably be too bound up to say a word and someone else would have to step in for him.

As it was, they'd be doing most of the cleaning up during the day so they'd be in the next town in time for tomorrow's show. They didn't always have to move so quickly, but the circus and the Akatsuki in particular were going through a sudden bout of popularity. Apparently, people loved to gather round and watch people do freaky shit.

Deidara gave little thought to the fact that he was still in his pj's and walked outside. His part of the camp was a collection of six caravans; five for living in and one was Pein's – or leader, as they called him sometimes – office/storage room.

Most of their practising was done in other parts of the camp – though most of Deidra's could be done in his caravan – as well as most of the other things they did. For example; eating. And he was _starving._

He stepped outside, embracing the morning light. He might not know where he was but he knew it was sweltering out here and the ground was purely grains of sand. As he walked across, bare footed, it was a struggle to keep his feet flat as it was so hot but he forgot about that when a shadow distorted his vision of the ground. He looked up to see Itachi.

"What do you want un?" Deidara asked. It was early in the morning, so nobody could expect him to be polite.

Itachi didn't look fazed though and said, "Pein wants to see you in his office."

"But… Breakfast!" he made a vague gesture towards the general direction of the main tent from where the smell of breakfast was filling the entire camp. Even the mouths on his hands were drooling! He bet they were having something delicious too.

"Now, Deidara," was all Itachi said before he turned to walk away.

"You told on me, didn't you un?!" Deidara yelled after him but it had no effect and just as he expected, the Uchiha said nothing.

Deidara scowled and stomped over towards leaders caravan. It wasn't fair! He'd done nothing wrong and only _contemplated_ blowing things up but it's not like he'd been serious! And now he was going to miss breakfast! He swore, if leader didn't kill him for this, he'd give killing Itachi his best damn shot! Unless Konan warned him first. Which she probably would.

Dammit!

He knocked twice before entering without permission, preparing for the worst. Pein had never taken kindly to unnecessary violence or danger. Which made it weird to think he'd taken in the people he had. They were like, the most dangerous of them all! But wait, Pein was looking at him now, expecting something…

"Un, whatever Itachi told you I swear it's not true!" he immediately exclaimed, "well okay un, maybe it's a little true but that hardly makes it alright for him to run over here and tell on me un!"

Stupid Uchiha. He was never going to entrust his evil plans with him, ever again!

As he rambled, Deidara was unaware of a fresh set of eyes watching him.

Pein waited patiently for him to finish, resisting to childish urge to roll his eyes before he said, "you're not in trouble Deidara, _at least not yet._ And don't you think that if anyone was informing on you, it'd be Konan?"

Of course! And he'd just wasted so much of his energy on plotting Itachi's impromptu murder.

"What un? What did she say?!"

"She sees darkness in your future."

"Tch what else is new un? Kakuzu says she's a quack."

Pein raised a brow, apparently amused by this new revelation, but before he could speak another word, the redhead sitting before him cleared his throat, calling for all available attention.

"Oh right," Pein said, forgetting himself for a moment, "Deidara, this is the Akatsuki's new recruit."

"Un, didn't Konan tell you not to take in random strangers anymore?"

"This kid is an exception," Pein said then muttered under his breath, _"I asked her permission first."_

_Oh, he must be just like us then._

"he'll be taking the spare bed in your room. you are to show him around the camp, introduce him to everyone – _not_ just the Akatsuki – and show him how things work around here. I wouldn't want him getting in trouble on his first day."

"But I need to practise new trick for my act!" Deidara argued.

"Alright then, he can help."

Damn, that had been his only solid argument.

He didn't want to show the new guy around!

He could remember when he was new and being shown around by Itachi. Everyone had seemed… weird. But that was alright because he had his own weird qualities but this guy…

He looked _normal!_

Hell, the only strange quality about him was his hair because honestly, _who_ had hair that colour?!

He glared back at Deidara with angry brown eyes, a scowl marring his face. Despite himself, Deidara found him kinda attractive. Okay, so maybe sharing a room with this kid wouldn't be so bad… as long as he didn't use the F work in front of Hidan or do anything to upset _anyone._

"Alright un come-on. I've got like five seconds before they stop serving breakfast.

The new kid sighed and stood up leisurely, following behind Deidara at a snail's pace.

* * *

"So un, this is where you'll be sleeping."

Deidara had given Sasori – seeing as how that was the kids name – a tour of the grounds, steering clear of most of the Akatsuki members for now since he got a certain _leave-me-the-fuck-alone-I'm-normal_ vibe from Sasori which the others wouldn't like.

Deidara had forgotten somewhere along the way that his room was lined with chains and cages and other things most commonly used to restrain people. Besides the colourful walls, it was all Sasori could see.

Deidara took the opportunity to get dressed while his new roommate recovered from shock. Being a performer of sorts, it took him less than a minute to get into a fresh set of clothes.

"Sorry about all this un. Pein makes me store it myself. He says it creeps him out un."

"So you're like what a…"

Deidara _almost_ squealed. This was the first time Sasori had spoken _all day_. He'd only managed to find out his name because Konan could _never_ be avoided.

"Escape artist un,"

He smiled slightly as a look of understanding overtook those cold, porcelain features.

"So then I could tie you up as tight as is physically possible and you'd be able to escape?" he smirked over at the blonde as if preparing to take his answer as a personal challenge.

Maybe it was something about being away from everyone else that made Sasori more _open?_

_"Why don't you try it un?"_ Deidara had been just about to say this when the door slammed open and a very _bloody_ Hidan stomped in.

"where'd you put the damn chainsaw?" he asked, rather breathlessly.

"what un, why?!"

"Need it." Hidan's pink eyes then strayed over to the redhead and he offered a smile that turned out more predatory then anything. "you're the new kid right? I'm Hidan," he held out a blood soaked hand but was refused and so redirected his attention to the blonde as well as the gaping wound in his stomach.

"What the hell is his problem?"

Deidara rolled his eyes. "He's new here, you can't just barge in here covered in blood and expect him to be your best friend. Un and you're bleeding all over the damn carpet!"

"Fine, fine, just tell me where you hid the chainsaw and I'll…"

"Hidan! Get out here and clean up this mess!"

Hidan's eyes widened comically as Konan's voice resounded throughout the camp.

"Oh fuck! Can I hide in –"

"No un!" Deidara pushed him out the already open door and called out, "Konan I found him!" before heading back inside and slamming the door.

He smiled tentatively at Sasori, hoping this incident hadn't affected his ability to speak and sure enough…

"What a freak."

* * *

Sasori's reception of the rest of the Akatsuki unfortunately wasn't any better.

He found Itachi a little stuck up and standoffish – yeah, he could really talk – and Kisame, well he was really a sight to behold. Sasori had to bail before they could even speak, mumbling something about a weak stomach.

That was one of those upsetting things Deidara really wished he wouldn't do.

He vaguely wondered how the other would react to his hand mouths, or even to being forced to watch the show later. Now _that_ was _truly_ where things started getting freaky.

Sasori refused to go near Hidan again which was probably for the best because he and Kakuzu would be busy practising his act – which basically involved a lot of blood and violence, no children under the age of 12 allowed.

Last but not least, were Tobi and Zetsu, both of whom were rather… _interesting_ people and garnered a negative response from Sasori who claimed the two were _dysfunctional, co-dependant weirdoes._

"You're a real charmer, you know that un?" Deidara asked, frowning at the redhead who'd managed to upset Tobi. Right before a show too, that was never good.

"Whatever," was Sasori's simple, _arrogant_ response.

"So what are you here for anyway?" Deidara tried, his eyes were preoccupied looking for the right set of something heavy and metal though he knew he could escape any man-made hold on this earth, he wished Pein would let him do something cool and fire related. He gave up eventually, guessing he'd go with routine instead of being adventurous tonight; he sat on his bed, across from Sasori.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, why are you here? What's your _trick,_ why'd leader choose _you_?"

The redhead shrugged and lay back, staring at the coloured ceiling – how the hell had he coloured the ceiling? His eyes picked out a phrase in black.

_Finding yourself in the world of loss._

What did that even mean? In fact, there were a lot of things written on these walls and roof that made absolutely no sense.

"I don't know," the words left his mouth easily. But he _did_ know. He just hated to think about it.

"What do you mean? Konan wouldn't have let him take you in for no reason, un! There must be something _really_ special about you!"

Sasori ignored the way bright azure eyes stared at him, trying to read some deep hidden truth engraved in his skin. He simply shrugged again, "like I said brat, I don't know."

Deidara brushed the name off and said, "Well un, I guess we'll find out soon enough right? After all, it won't be long before you're standing on that stage, terrifying the _normal_ people."

_Normal people._

Deidara tried to think back to a time when he was one of them. But he couldn't ever remember fitting in with _them._ Nobody in the Akatsuki had ever been normal. That's why they fit so well together but Sasori, well Deidara couldn't help but worry for him.

They'd only just met so it was reasonable for him to be a little frightened but he'd gone beyond that and almost completely shut down.

Deidara wondered if he had a life away from here, if he was happy where he used to be, if he regretted whatever strange turn of events had led him here. And through these thoughts, he felt sorry for the redhead.

But then there was a knock at his door and he forgot all about that. A voice flooded through the room, "hey, the Akatsuki's about to go up. Get out here and get ready for your act!"

Deidara hadn't even realised it was dark and he hadn't heard the sounds of the circus starting up or of people crowding the grounds but suddenly he felt that wonderful rush of adrenaline that generally followed lighting a fire or came before he did something reckless. After all, it was always reckless to chain yourself up under dangerous circumstances.

"Come-on un, show time," he said to Sasori who sat up slowly.

This was it, he thought. His last chance to go back, his last chance to be relatively normal. He could run right now, run back to that cold, dark place he used to live, and be alone, or he could try things here and who knows, he might end up happy?

Sasori looked up to see his new blonde roommate with an exhilarated smile on his face, blue eyes full of pure adrenaline and despite himself, he couldn't help thinking how adorable the brat looked.

He decided, if his world was dark right now, he'd let that smile be the light to lead him somewhere new.

"Alright, but this show better be amazing."

As for the rest of the Akatsuki… if he had to deal with them, it'd be at a later date, minimum contact both verbal and physical. He would _never_, no matter how bad things got, associate himself with _freaks._

* * *

**like it? yeah i thought so... it would be reeeeeeaaally helpful, if anyone has any suggestions at all, about the different acts. i have Deidara, Hidan, Sasori and Konan covered. any further ideas would be immensly helpful ^^**


	2. S&M 2

**Well, second chapter in two days. you guys are lucky ^^ do not expect this pace to continue, as i am currently failing all of my classes in school (except English and History) and will likely be murdered by my parents when they find out. as for the sex scene with the clown, it is coming along nicely. GUYS I AM SUPER SERIAL RIGHT NOW, UNLESS SOMEBODY JUMPS IN AND STOPS ME, I'M GOING TO WRITE A WEIRD CLOWN SEX SCENE.**

***coughs* anyways, thank you for those who reveiwed the last chapter, your ideas were helpful.**

**I'd like to thank and give credit to NewWings, for bringing crows into the picture, and MAJOR credit to Happii Haden because i've used (will used) most of your ideas. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT! ^^ :D**

**Anyways...**

* * *

He's act two. Right after their resident fortune teller.

Sometimes he thought she really _was_ a quack, because all she ever told anybody was dark, gloomy stuff, some of it was frightening, even after all he'd seen and heard. But then around camp, she knew everything about everybody, and it wasn't enough that she could supposedly tell the future but she also had an annoying habit of reading your thoughts. That added value to her act and _almost_ disproved the theory that she was a quack, but it was _really_ annoying and Deidara often contemplated the consequences of just cutting her tongue out or something like that, whenever she'd reveal an embarrassing truth about his thoughts.

Then he would think that if even _half _of her predictions were true then the world would be a very, very dark place. Of course, he'd seen the outside world, he'd lived that life for the first twelve years and he could vouch for the fact that it _was truly_ a terrible place.

But he didn't want to think about any of that.

Currently he was blindfolded and tied up more ways than could possibly be healthy – ignoring the fact that being tied up isn't healthy at all – and to make it worse, he was upside down. He loved being upside down.

He just hoped they'd remembered to set up the net this time.

Sasori had been a little reluctant – despite his earlier question – to assist in this particular trick. After all it was _dangerous_ and he could end up being hurt, but after being assured over and over that nothing bad would happen, Sasori actually had fun with it and was certain that the blonde wouldn't escape so easily.

They had him up above a large net, upside down, his arms trapped in by a strait jacket, blinded and unable to move.

"He's gonna fall."

He looked up to see the girl – the _only_ girl who was part of this freak show – with blue hair standing beside him, where they watched from up high, behind the audience. She was weird, this one, and he vaguely remembered Deidara calling her Konan.

"What do you mean, he's meant to fall, right?"

They watched the kid squirm slightly, the chain holding him up swinging dangerously, threatening to snap. It seemed he didn't move his upper body at all – not that it would be any use – settling instead for using his legs.

Konan frowned slightly, amber eyes glazed over, she whispered, "he's gonna get hurt."

Sasori didn't quite like the way her words made him feel… _afraid._ Though no matter what anyone said, it was a feeling he was well used to by now. He guessed that's why anybody would resort to something like this; because they were afraid to live on their own, they were sick of being so _alone._ They'd rather be the centre of a crowd, even if that crowd was full of gawking, terrified idiots, than spend one more moment on their own.

He actually remembered seeing a line on the ceiling earlier, that said;

_I'm tired of living but I'm too afraid to die._

Those words and all the rest, scribbled along the walls and roof, told Sasori more about the boy then anything he'd said the entire day, did.

And it turned out he was a pretty cool kid. Broken in places maybe, a little screwed up, caught up in a freak show and used to that heavy, lonely feeling, but he wasn't like anybody Sasori had ever met before. Not like one of those people on the outside who only saw you for what you looked like or the way you acted.

Sasori couldn't help but worry about him. But he had been promised that nothing would happen and rather then get involved, he decided to trust in those words.

"Pft and they call _me_ weird," Hidan had decided that this was the best time to join their conversation, "he looks like a fucking worm."

"Find the chainsaw?" Konan asked though she already knew he had.

"Yeah. We're gonna paint the crowd red," he smirked dangerously.

Sasori decided not to say anything else.

Then, so quick you would've missed it had you blinked, Deidara fell from his place, the chains perfectly intact. As he fell, he shed the strait jacket, the bindings still done up, the material simply fell off of his body and into the crowd, propelled by the speed of his fall and the slight, practised flourish to it all.

Still blindfolded, he fell gracefully onto the net below, showing no signs of fear at all of the possibility that death was waiting instead, much to the audiences amazement. They clapped and cheered for his weird little display.

Sasori found that even he was impressed by the way the chains were still visibly linked together and none of the locks were broken nor were any of the straps from the jacket. He knew he couldn't _possibly_ have done those chains too loose. Hell when he left, Deidara barely had room to breathe.

Deidara fell onto the net, bouncing slightly, his legs gave way after the effort of breaking free and the added impact of the fall. He sat on his knees, legs slightly spread, hands on the net and body leaning forward slightly, vaguely aware that his hair had gotten loose somehow. He listened to the crowd; their cheering was music to his ears.

The trick itself was simple; nothing more than just a bit of awkward bending – which required an unhealthy amount of flexibility – sleight of hand and faith. Hardly anything worthy of a freak show which is why he'd insisted on being second today. After all, he couldn't very well follow the next act with a trick he'd learned when he was thirteen.

With more preparation, he could come up with something better but showing around the new guy had consumed a lot of his time. This was his fall act and never failed to get a reaction from the crowd. But it was when knives and cages got into it, that things started to get _really_ freaky.

This act took him right back to when he was a kid, first joining the Akatsuki. The first time he'd ever stepped in front of a crowd.

He'd almost been sick that day.

It was such a long time ago… he'd been so young…

So.. afraid.

The wall, or rather the phrases he'd written on it, were like tiny gateways to the past he hated to remember. He had grown up _so much_ since then and didn't like to think about the weak little kid he used to be.

Those words were transient scars, reminders, motivators to move on a live. Just like this trick he did. It reminded him to be strong.

Someday, when he felt he was ready, he'd get rid of those words. All of them. And he'd stop relying on this particular act and try something new. One day when he didn't need a constant reminder, that is.

Up above, behind the audience, Sasori was recovering from an almost heart attack.

"I thought you said he was going to be hurt?" he asked.

Hidan had long since been dragged off to prepare for his act which would be near the end.

Konan laughed, not looking away from the stage where Deidara had removed his blindfold and was yelling buzz words at the crowd. A serene smile took over her expression, hiding the troubled secrets hidden in her amber eyes, she said, "yes, but I didn't say tonight."

* * *

After recovering and having a brief talk with the crowd – even if he didn't know where he was, he liked to interact with the people – Deidara watched the rest of the show with Sasori, coaxing him into sitting near the front where they could get a better view.

Normally, the Akatsuki wouldn't watch their own performances, but having heard the word _chainsaw_ earlier, Deidara wanted to be as close to the ground as possible.

He only wished he'd been there when it came time to volunteer to wield the awesome weapon.

They sat through almost the entire thing, watching as Itachi lit the place up because apparently, he was a fire breathing freak – Sasori had taken to calling all of them freaks, in his mind. He noticed Deidara seemed rather drawn to the fire, like a moth or something like that, which was strange because he didn't _look_ like a pyromaniac, but his eyes said differently. His eyes said he wanted to light up the world and watch it burn.

Things got weird once the fire started turning black, well after the first flames had died out anyways. It seemed wherever those eyes went, black flames hissed to live, emitting enough heat to nearly suffocate the desert dwelling people of Sasori's hometown. Oddly enough though, this new type of flame seemed to change Deidara's mood and he frowned as blood began to pool at the corners of Itachi's eyes.

"He's not supposed to over exert himself like this, un," Deidara said. It was clear to him that the effort it took to keep the tent in flames – and yet, not hurt anyone in the process – was putting a strain on his friend.

If anything was to kill the Uchiha, he'd rather it was him.

But then, someone would step in any moment, because when she wasn't on stage, Konan was almost never wrong.

And sure enough, Itachi dispersed in a flock of crows – the real reason he'd been taken in by the Akatsuki – only narrowly avoiding being stabbed by a _spear_ of all things, held by Tobi. The fire died out as the crows dispersed.

Not that anybody would hear him from up there, but Deidara saw Tobi's mouth move in the form of the word _idiot_ on account of the fact that his cousin had almost just killed himself.

Now Tobi's approach to entertainment was a lot more childish and interactive. He was like Deidara and liked talking to the people, as well as occasionally calling for volunteers. He was _great_ with illusions though couldn't actually change the shape or placement of an object; he could get an entire crowd to believe he had. However, the thing that had gotten him here – something you _can't_ train to be able to do – was his ability to teleport. Everyone in the crowd would always believe it to be another illusion, which added a lot to his credibility as an illusionist.

His act was often one of the weird ones as he'd fumble around the stage, playing the part of child stuck in a teenager's body, pulling off tricks that screwed with your mind and seemed even more amazing due to the one doing them, with the help of Zetsu who generally stuck to helping the boy with his act and rarely, if ever, displayed his own weird talent.

Deidara enjoyed the sounds of shock and awe that surrounded Tobi's act almost as much as he enjoyed the screams and the sound of the chainsaw ripping through Hidan as the entire crowd was splashed with blood. It was even more horrifying – apparently – to see him still talking and moving though he'd been cut in half.

Sasori was now regretting letting the brat drag him to the front.

"Okay, I'm leaving," he said, shuddering, covered in red, he felt sick.

"Wait un, I'll come with you!" Deidara chased after him.

Once outside, Sasori let loose and threw up. How could _anybody_ watch that?!

He'd seen more than enough blood in his life to know the value of it and couldn't image a way they could've faked _that_.

The images replayed in his mind and he felt his stomach churn.

"Weak stomach indeed, un," Deidara's voice floated towards him from behind. He looked up to see the blonde smirking slightly, "don't worry un, Hidan'll be fine."

Sasori didn't say anything but wondered briefly why Deidara was wearing gloves. He hadn't been earlier and it was hot out here, even by _his_ standards.

"Come-on un, the others will be waiting for us back in the Akatsuki sector." Well, everyone who wasn't busy trying to calm the crowd and get Hidan back into one piece.

Sasori followed silently.

His first day in the Akatsuki so far, was indescribable without using the word _disturbing._

But they'd be leaving in less than an hour so it was too late to change his mind now.

* * *

**P.S, i am aware i left Kisame out, mainly because nobody suggested anything for him Dx and i left Pein out as well for other reasons.**


	3. S&M 3

**omg, anonymous reveiwer, i love your idea about elemental fights. i might seriously use that ^^**

* * *

After the show, the Akatsuki had a traditional meal of pizza and popping candy – though the candy was really only for Tobi and Deidara.

Sasori felt too sick to eat and ended up back in his caravan. They were moving within the hour.

When Deidara came back, he lay awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling and watched with little interest as the brat took a pink marker from a box and scribbled on the wall, a simple sentence;

_I miss feeling free._

Sasori noticed there was a pattern here, the wall consisted of dark, trapped little words and phrases and small little lines that bled false happiness squished into the corners. Despite the smile on his face, Deidara clearly had issues.

Deidara put his maker back and lay down, lying on his side after a while, azure eyes staring back into tired brown depths. He opened his mouth to speak but Sasori beat him to it.

"How do you do it?"

Deidara frowned for a moment before he said, "do what, un?"

_Wake up every day and know you're a freak._

_Spend every day here with these people._

_Get up on that stage every night and know you can never be normal._

"The trick. How do you do it?"

"Oh un," Deidara smiled, eyes lighting up but he tapped the side of his nose and said, "a magician never reveals his secrets."

_You're not a magician, you're a freak._

Sasori rolled his eyes. Of _course_ he would say something like that.

Really though, he didn't understand why Deidara was here. So he was a little, _flexible?_ Or however he managed to do that trick, which was really nothing, though Sasori had a feeling there was something else weird he was hiding. Like he himself was hiding a pretty strange secret.

Sasori hated to think of the brat having some weird, physical abnormality. He was by no means shallow – despite his reaction to the rest of the Akatsuki – but he had a tendency to… react _badly_ to those sorts of things. Like Kisame's appearance for example, or Kakuzu's scars – oh, that had been a _big_ mistake – but that didn't mean he didn't like them because of it, they were alright people, even though he'd only met them earlier that day, but he felt like they'd gotten off on the wrong foot.

However, he liked Deidara, he was _interesting_ and friendly. He didn't want to hurt the kid but it seemed at this point, it'd be inevitable seeing as he couldn't be in the Akatsuki simply because of that one trick.

Deidara smiled again, shifting to lie on his back.

"We'll be in Ame by tomorrow, un. We should get some sleep."

* * *

When Sasori opened his eyes, light was shining into the room through the single window and a new line was written on the wall in red;

_Had that dream again. I don't want it to be dark._

But Deidara was nowhere to be found.

It was still early and they were still moving so that meant he must be in one of the other carts.

He took a moment to collect himself before moving through the other carts. Small metal bridges closed the space between the doors. Like a train that travelled along the road. The first few carts were for sleeping, most of the beds were empty and unmade though a few still had people sleeping within them. Sasori knew these carts were for Akatsuki use only and actually hadn't met anyone from the other part of the camp, yet.

However, it was clear who slept where just by the way the rooms looked as he had learnt enough about his fellow Akatsuki to know who was likely to keep their room in a sickeningly clean state and who was likely to have stacks of candy crammed in every spare space in the room – as well as who was more likely to have locks on their closet door.

He ran into Konan and Pein in an empty cart – though he surprisingly, hadn't seen anybody else – with only seats along both walls, supporting the appearance of a road train. The top half of those walls were glass, fiving a strange view of a place he'd never see. Actually, he'd never left his own village which made this experience all the more terrifying.

"It feels weird to be home, do you think it'll rain?" Pein asked. Both of them were facing away, sitting on their knees on one of the seats, staring out the window. Sasori remembered there were no windows in Pein's office which would make this the best place for them to view outside – without actually being there.

"Yes, it will be raining when we stop," Konan said.

Pein couldn't help but laugh at that.

_Well that was all fine and good and whatever but where was –_

"He's in the dining cart, three down," Konan said before Sasori could even finish his thoughts. How had she – "a magician never reveals his secrets," Konan turned around and made a big show of tapping her nose.

Sasori frowned. That was exactly what Deidara had done.

"Well uh… thanks I guess," he mumbled.

When he was gone, Konan said, "I don't like him."

Pein sighed, "What's wrong with him?" she always had a problem with new recruits and had in fact declared war on Deidara when he was twelve. It took her a year to warm up to him and three more to call off her war.

As for Itachi… well that had been a disaster. As it was with Kisame and Kakuzu, as well. In fact, the only one she didn't hate, oddly enough, had been Hidan.

Of course, she was over most of it by now.

"He's indecisive."

"So...?"

"He clouds my mind. I don't like it." She gazed out the window, ignoring the other visions in her head, "he's not like the others. I can't tell what he's going to do. I know what he's thinking but… other than that, there's nothing."

"No darkness in his future?" Pein smirked, recalling the generic prediction she usually gave Deidara.

Konan rolled her eyes. "I see nothing; I might as well be blind!"

Silence.

Pein thought about it for a little while.

"Kakuzu thinks you're a quack."

Sigh.

"I know."

In the dining cart, Deidara sat with a few of the normal performers; the ones who had weird talents but no physical features that qualified them for being a part of the Akatsuki,

A lot of them were younger than him; about the age he was when he first came here but he had no problem getting along with them.

"Dude, that show last night was _sick_!" as these words were spoken, a dog rain into the room before its owner, presumably to make sure the room was safe, "there was blood _everywhere!"_

Kiba was one of those kids that were hard to get along with at first. He was headstrong and often over confident but enjoyed senseless violence – unless it was against animals – and was friendly enough. Once you got past all his weird hang-ups.

"Yeah! It took like, ages to keep the crowd calm!" and Naruto, not able to sense the mood and tell the difference between praise and complaint, always had something to say. He was a bubbly kid, not dumb but just sort of dense. "And do you know how long it took to clean that damn tent?"

"Naruto," then there was mini Uchiha, Sasuke or something like that. He'd never been much of a morning person. "It's too early for you to be yelling like this."

"Yeah and besides, it wasn't that bad, we got a good show didn't we?"

"Tch, speak for yourself. You didn't have to play nurse for that idiot."

Sakura, she was one of the only girls around here. It seemed not many girls had skills employable by a circus, of sorts and he wasn't quite sure what hers was meant to be. More often than not, she'd end up as a nurse for anyone – mainly Hidan and sometimes Itachi – who was injured. Her blonde counterpart Ino, had a talent for taking over people's minds but it left her body vulnerable. Still, it made for a good show.

Deidara listened to the kids talking and arguing as he ate, ben down close to his good so his hands wouldn't get to it first.

A lot of the kids, who were part of this circus, were here without parents. Kiba and Shino both ha parents in the business, as did Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji, however, everyone else was here alone. Most of them lived in Konaha, the last stop one this annoying tour before they could break for a month or two.

Deidara had only been to Konaha once. It was a great place; big and easy to lose yourself in. the people could be mean and untrusting but he still found it better than Iwa.

Itachi had a home waiting for him in Konaha. He was lucky.

The children soon calmed down and ate quietly. He didn't like the quiet or the echoing sound of tyres hitting the road. So he was happy when he felt somebody sit down beside him.

"This place is weird," Sasori immediately said.

"Un, you've yet to see the start of it," Deidara said simply.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"What am I un, your keeper?" his words were angry but his tone was its usual happy self and he was smiling. Sasori noticed briefly that his hands were uncovered but he kept them flat. Could that be the physical abnormality that got him into the Akatsuki? Sasori suddenly thought of the phrase, _curiosity killed the cat._ "Un, I didn't want to disturb you."

Sasori looked around to see a group of kids staring at him.

He stared back.

"Oh un, guys this is Sasori. He's the newest member of Akatsuki."

"Wow, so he's a freak?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke immediately reacted before anyone else could, hitting him across the back of his head.

"I told you not to call them that."

Sasuke was _very_ protective of his older brother and if that meant he had to defend the Akatsuki, then so be it.

"Geez, _sorry,_" Naruto remarked sarcastically, rubbing the back of his head.

"these are the kids who go on before us un," Deidara continued as if nothing had happened, "I mean, it's not all kids, there are adults too but they're probably all still asleep."

The children nodded in agreement.

"So what's the hell's wrong with you?" Kiba was the first to ask as Naruto had a sneaking suspicion that if he were to ask, he'd get in trouble.

"Excuse me?" Sasori asked, rather annoyed.

"He means, what makes you a _fre_… um, what makes you different?" Sakura asked, quickly correcting herself.

"Nothing."

Deidara rolled his eyes, "he doesn't want to talk about it kids."

But of course, being teenagers, they were overly persistent.

"Come-on, there must be something!"

"Yeah, they wouldn't have chosen _you_ for no reason!"

"You've gotta at least have like, six toes or something!"

Sasori frowned, "_why_ six toes?"

The kids stared at each other for a while before Sakura decided to step in.

"Well you know; because one of the common qualifications for the Akatsuki, is a weird physical attribute. Like Deidara's ha –"

No time was wasted in kicking somebody _anybody_ under the table, leading to Sasuke quickly covering Sakura's mouth. It appeared Deidara didn't want to share his abnormalities right now.

However, Sasori had already heard too much.

_I knew there was something wrong with his hands._

But how to find out for sure..?

Grabbing the brat's wrist wouldn't be very subtle. But Sasori had never been one for subtly; he was more of the overly curious, impatient type and he just _had to know!_

It couldn't be that bad.

Like, a tattoo or something?

A weird, ugly scar?

A prophetic?!

But what he saw was a normal hand. He could practically feel Deidara's heartbeat through the vein in his wrist, beating out of time in shock and… anxiety?

And the reason was suddenly so clear.

* * *

The road train – as Konan liked to refer to it – had come to a stop. Like she'd said, it was raining, something she didn't particularly like but she only saw the future and couldn't control it. She'd still make sure everything got done before their show that night; tickets had been sold in advance and everything was set to go off just fine…

Hold on.

She frowned slightly, her forehead creasing slightly as she read a new future, one that was clouded and indecisive like that boy she hated. One that had many possible outcomes and one _certain_ starting point.

"What's wrong?" Pein asked, sensing that something _was_ wrong.

"Three, two, one…"

The door connecting the carts opened and slammed shut quickly, colliding loudly but the blonde stomping through couldn't possibly have cared less. He'd noticed the road train – _everybody _referred to it as that – had stopped and didn't care in the slightest that it was raining and if he stepped out, he'd probably get sick.

"Going to town un, be back later."

He offered a simple _vague_ explanation as he left, slamming the door behind him.

Konan sighed, "I told you I didn't like that boy."


	4. S&M 4

**Sorry this is late. i've had a really shit week.**

**i had this one written yesterday but when i got home to type it out, turns out the school had sent a damn letter to my house. argh, FML. and some really shit stuff with my friend at school, one sided shit. she probably doesn't know the way i feel. whatever.**

**and since school has started up again, i'm feeling the damn pressure.**

**it's weird how life seems to fall apart when you're cut off from your computer for ONE DAY.**

**has anybody read LOVELESS? ermahgawd, i just started reading it today, i think it's adorable ^^**

**CREDIT TO ANONYMOUS REVEIWER WHO SAID ELEMENTAL BATTLES. i don't think i've included that in this chapter, but i will.**

* * *

"Hey, get back here and help set up, asshole!"

But it was too late. Akatsuki's resident shark hybrid had run off towards the lake near which, the circus was setting up camp. Much to Hidan's distaste.

"I knew he was going to do that," Konan said. She pushed past, deliberately shoving Sasori out of the way.

He didn't know where all the people had come from though he knew they must've been in the road train somewhere. It seemed hate travelled fast – as did word and he was on the bad side of all those children as well as everyone in the Akatsuki. If he was being completely honest, he wasn't unused to being treated like this. But this was the only time he'd ever felt like he deserved it.

"Itachi!" Hidan yelled, turning to give him a look that clearly said _get him the fuck out of there!_

Itachi sighed and looked for a moment like he might actually do something, then looked up at the sky and said, "It's raining."

Obviously that meant there was nothing he could do and Hidan accepted that fact easily, quickly coming up with a new plan, he turned to Pein and said, "Do we have any _really_ big fishing hooks?"

Konan sighed, "This will end in blood if you don't stop it," she said to Sakura, their resident nurse – freakishly strong nurse, that is.

Sakura – not wanting to patch fish boy or the immortal asshole up before the show that night – intervened immediately and it seemed like all was well once again.

Sasori helped as best he could with the setting up though there was really not much he could do for a bunch of people who disliked him. He spent the whole time thinking, worrying about Deidara and recalling the brief argument they'd had.

As Sasori predicted, his reaction to Deidara's hand months was less than flattering. He'd even gone so far as to use that word. The word he'd been labeled with his entire life. The word he had never thought twice about using before. The word Sasuke hated so much.

_Freak. _

Who the hell was he to be calling _anybody_ such a thing anyway?

He'd seen himself reflected in a window earlier, looked into his own eyes and known that nobody, not on this road train and not anywhere in the world, was like him. Now it wasn't just that _everybody's different_ crap you learn when you're younger, no he knew he was weird, or strange, or maybe some sort of mutant and he was in no position to _ever_ comment on the way people looked, or acted.

But he was… _afraid. _

Deidara was in the league to be his first real friend and he was _scared_.

The life he'd lived back in Suna, around all of those discriminating people, around everyone who hated him, living a life with _nothing,_ had worked to build up character and meter high walls around his heart, as well as developing screwed up defense mechanisms that cause him to push anyone and _everyone _away.

But these people… the Akatsuki, they were just worse, because they had a good, _strong_ chance of actually understanding what he'd been through. They had a chance of getting through to him and though their abnormalities disturbed him slightly – as they initially would to anyone – but he was really more afraid to be _rejected_ by _them._

Which, if you cycled back around his odd, mismatched thinking, was why he immediately pushed them away.

Did that make sense? Did that, in _any way_ make him crazy?

"Yes, in fact I'd say it makes you _insane._"

Sasori wasn't surprised to see Konan standing in front of him when he looked up. He wondered if maybe she'd been there the whole time.

She didn't like the rain and he'd taken up shelter in the big tent, so it stood to reason she'd want to be there too, seeing as it was the only dry spot in this part of the camp.

He didn't speak though because he felt like she wouldn't listen anyway.

"I'm not talking to you right now," she rocked back and forth on her heels slightly, "but Pein wanted me to speak to you," she then muttered under her breath, _"well he didn't actually ask me to, but he was going to ask Itachi and he doesn't like you very much right now."_

Sasori ignored that last part and said, "What does he want?"

"Deidara won't be back for the show tonight. You're filling in."

"What, where'd he go?"

Konan shrugged, though she knew very well where he was, "he stormed out after your little disagreement."

_Yeah, that was really stupid on my part._

"Yes, it was," Konan agreed.

"That's really annoying."

"I'm glad you think so," Konan gave her version of a smirk and said, "I don't know a lot about your act but the Akatsuki is on in two hours so you better go practice. If you let the Akatsuki down again… well that's one future you don't have to be psychic to predict."

_Non-explicit death threats. Lovely._

With that, Konan turned to leave, she'd rather be outside in the cold and _wet_, than in that tent with Sasori.

* * *

Two hours later it was still raining. Still raining and _dark._

Sasori had watched every single performance, starting from the kids and adults in the _normal_ circus department, all the way to the Akatsuki.

He'd spoken to Pein about what he'd be doing and suggested taking Deidara's place as second, but unfortunately, since he was _new_ he'd have to go last. That meant Hidan wasn't allowed to make too much of a mess tonight.

Stepping up onto that stage was – to say the absolute least – _terrifying._

He knew this was the absolute last chance to stay normal, or at least to keep the illusion that he was normal. And after this, he'd have no cause to call anybody a _freak,_ nor to call them weird, strange, abnormal, or anything other than their names.

He stood in the center of the stage, looking around at all the blank, partially terrified faces, surrounded by darkness as lights shone down on him.

They'd get a perfect view of him. Of what he was.

With shaking hands, he undid the clasps of the cloak he'd found in his room, slowly, one by one.

His display was both physical and _weird_ in an unexplainable way. Like Itachi, the way he could change his form (physical) _and_ make fire (_weird_ in an unexplainable way.)

But first, came the physical part. And if the crowd got over that, he'd ask for a volunteer.

He'd been introduced as a human puppet. And that's what he was. Partially. He wasn't controlled by anybody else and had no strings attached to him, he thought for himself with his own mind. He had a heart – though it was somewhat, not normal – and in fact, a lot of his body was still human. Some of his fingers were still real, his arms were both made of flesh, most of his torso was still human, though his heart had been removed and replaced.

He still had a lot of his organs, although for some of them, there was no longer any use. His abdomen had been emptied out and now contained a coiled metal cable. For what purpose, he had no idea. His abnormality wasn't the result of a birth defect as many of the other Akatsuki's were; he had been slowly transformed by the people who took care of him. This was just the end result.

He let the cloak fall, feeling eyes on him, staring in shock, disgust… horrified _interest_? He kept perfectly still despite his immediate instinct to squirm and move around or run from their judgmental gaze.

He deserved this. Every second of it. For what he'd done to Deidara and to the other members of the Akatsuki.

Konan watched from behind the audience as the new kid disrobed – luckily, he hadn't completely undressed, though it would've been _hilarious._

She was tempted to join in yelling the word _freak_ but felt it would be anti-productive. And be. And besides, though he was indecisive, it wasn't as though he didn't feel bad about the things he'd done or hurt over the way people reacted to him – which by the way, served him right.

However, once they'd calmed down a bit, he got on with the rest of his act.

Konan had already been informed what his talent was but still found it… strange. And try as she might, she still couldn't predict his next move.

It gave her a headache.

Both of the people who'd volunteered to assist him, had their thoughts in order but couldn't figure out why they were moving without consent. They danced across the stage, throwing punches at each other, barely missing each time as one or the other would always seem to glide out of the way.

Sasori's fingers moved only slightly but still visibly if you looked closely. Thin blue lines were also visible in the right light, like strings, attached to many points on each volunteer.

Sasori might've been introduced as a human puppet, but they were the real ones being controlled.

The crowd reacted just the way they were expected to though; cautious applause.

Sasori was nowhere near making it up to the Akatsuki but this little stunt was a good start. They might never trust him and perhaps they'd never like him but for this, they could no doubt respect him.

Konan watched as Sasori exited the stage but her vision was soon clouded by a brief glimpse of a near future.

Deidara was going to run into some of her and Pein's old _friends_. And he was still wearing his ring.

_Idiot._

He'd probably need directions back to the camp when he was done with them. Although if they were lucky, he'd be able to avoid the situation entirely.

Eh, who was she trying to kid? They were _never_ lucky.

Konan quickly scrawled down a few directions onto a piece of paper and called out to Sasori. She gave him the paper as soon as he reached her.

"I need you to go into town for me. You have… half an hour."

"Wait, what do you even need?" it was his understanding that they had _everything_ here.

Konan sighed, "You'll figure it out."

* * *

Deidara strolled around Ame, cold and soaking wet though the rain was starting to let up. He couldn't see the stars out here like he could in the other village but he didn't mind too much.

He wasn't as angry or upset as he was expected to be. Not anymore.

It had been a shock in some ways, and so quick. He hadn't seen that look in anyone's eyes since he left Iwa – so, a _really_ long time ago – and it was worse for two reasons.

One, because they were meant to be friends! He didn't really know the conventions of a normal friendship but was pretty sure they were meant to be understanding and forgiving and all that stupid crap. Sasori hadn't been very friendly per se but still, they'd hit it off and were getting along great before then.

Two, he was a part of the Akatsuki! That meant he was weird too! What right did he have, _seriously?_

Well, whatever. Thinking about it only made him angry.

The streets were almost deserted by now. He'd been warned by Konan countless times not to go out at this time of the night – and if possible, not to go out at all – but he didn't trust her judgment and besides, he had no idea where camp was. He'd left in such a hurry that he forgot to check for land marks.

He knew he was being followed. He'd known for a while and was now regretting the ring he wore.

If there was any way to tell he was affiliated with Pein and Konan, it was to look at his ring. Everybody who knew about the two and their line of work, new this simple fact.

This was Ame, a village where both Pein and Konan had made many enemies before they left. But he was quite sure he'd be fine.

That was until he made a wrong turn, ended up in an alley and was cutoff with nowhere to go. It was four against one. Two people blocked each exit; they were all shrouded in shadows and so he couldn't tell if he'd met them before.

Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time this had happened. Also unfortunately, he never seemed to learn and was quite sure he wouldn't learn this time either.

"Just run along home boys, your services aren't required here, un," he told them, the ones closet to him, right in his face.

Not three seconds later, he was punched.

Apparently, this wasn't one of those situations where you could just say whatever you wanted with no consequences.

"Is this the guy?"

"Just look at his ring, he's one of them for sure."

"Alright, we'll take him with us. maybe then that bitch will think twice about stealing from us."

_Great_, so these were some of Konan's _friends._

They were always the worst.

And for some reason, they assumed that if they kidnapped him, she'd come to his rescue. Like, maybe because she was a female, she actually _cared_ about him. Well she didn't. Not enough to stick her own neck out for him, anyway.

She might send Itachi or something.

Not that he'd need anyone to help him.

"she won't come after me," Deidara felt he should at least inform them of this fact, "chances are she probably knows what's going on and just doesn't care, un."

Now were these the ones who house she completely cleaned out, or the ones she stole the money from?

By the way he was punched again, effectively winding him and brining him to his knees, he guessed it was the money.

One of the guys behind him, kicked him and he feel face first to the ground.

God, this was going to be hard to explain to Sakura when he got home. He just hoped nothing was broken and that there wasn't took much blood, though he could tell he _was_ bleeding.

Oh and he had missed the show. He'd have to report to Pein first otherwise he'd have to see the nurse twice.

"Tie him up or something and that's go."

Deidara sighed.

This was really quite troublesome.

* * *

Sasori followed the directions scrawled on the paper, down to the letter – he noticed with dry amusement that Konan had included instructions to get back – and found himself staring into the mouth of an alley where a single figure stood, rubbing their wrists.

"Geez un, would it have killed you to get some better rope? It would've been nice to feel challenged, un."

Deidara.

There were four figures sprawled out on the ground at his feet and a pained groan emitted from one of them.

"Oh un, and Konan sends her regards," Deidara gave a smile now. It was something he'd been told to do next time he saw on these idiots.

He could feel eyes still trained on him and said, "go away un, I can find my own way back."

"Yeah? What direction is it in?" Deidara frowned and pointed left, uncertainly. Then right. Then left again.

He had no idea.

"Come-on, Konan only gave me half an hour to come and get you." He assumed that was why he'd been sent down here.

Deidara rolled his eyes. Of _course_ she'd seen this coming. She was only helpful for predicting things when it was too damn late!

He felt sick and light-headed and like he might throw up but that didn't stop him from stomping past in faux anger.

Left, because he'd pointed that way twice.

He didn't get very far before his legs gave way. Perhaps he shouldn't have spent all day stomping around in an angry manner after having done _that_ trick the night before. And perhaps what had just happened wasn't of any help either.

He was a bit like Itachi in a way where, he sometimes pushed himself too far.

"Still think you can make it on your own, brat?" Sasori asked, smirking slightly.

"Un, shut up and help me you bastard!" Deidara raised his arms and wiggled his fingers; much like a child and Sasori couldn't help but smile.

He kneeled down in front of the blonde, his back to the other and said, "you can't walk on your own, your legs aren't gonna let you."

"Un, I can so!"

"Okay, I guess I'll just leave you here," Sasori began to stand up, slowly.

He wasn't given the chance though, pulled back by one of those hands. He had to force away a shudder.

"I should make you beg as payback for being a brat."

"Un, just take me home… please."

He wrapped his arms around the redhead and Sasori stood up, shakily at first. He turned around.

"You were going the wrong way."

"Mmm, I figured un." pause. He was feeling _really_ tired. "This won't make me forgive you."

_I figured that out by now._

_I just hope you find a way, one day._

* * *

Sakura was _not_ happy to be interrupted while in the process of patching Kisame up. He'd been burnt during his act. Itachi said it served him right but apparently, he felt guilty enough to sit in the makeshift infirmary while he was treated.

Kakuzu was also there, sewing Hidan's arms back on. That hadn't been as effective at scaring the crowd, as shoving a chainsaw through him had, but it had still earned a pretty loud scream.

"I don't know what happened to him. I think he got in a fight or something," Sasori said, lowering Deidara – who was now sleeping – down onto a bed. His back ached from carrying the blonde all the way here. He was a lot heavier then he looked.

"Was he conscious when you found him?" Kakuzu asked, automatically shifting into doctor/friend mode.

"Yeah he was fine, he fell asleep on the way here."

Sakura, sensing the tension, ushered Sasori out, thanking him for brining Deidara in and promising to update him ASAP.

On his way back to his caravan, Sasori ran into Konan, standing outside in the circle of Akatsuki caravans. It had stopped raining sometimes since Sasori had left for Ame.

"Well you were right," Sasori said, not expecting a reply.

"Really? About what?" Konan asked dreamily.

"Your prediction, remember? Deidara was hurt."

Her mouth formed an _'O'_ of understanding but she shook her head.

"No, I didn't mean like this," she said. The vision was still there, fresh in her mind. "I didn't mean tonight."


	5. S&M 5

**Sorry this took so long. i was very busy with... stuff... you know.. um, important stuff?**

**eh, whatever. at least i took the time to write something! *sulks in a corner***

* * *

Deidara felt much better when he woke up. His body still ached but…

Ached from what?

Wait, what had even happened?

Why was he in the infirmary?

He'd been in town and …

_That_ was the problem; he'd been in Ame. Home of most of Pein and Konan's enemies. And with his luck, it could never be avoided. He'd always end up running into one of them whenever they stopped here.

They needed to stop letting him out. Especially on nights when they were putting on a show.

_Holy shit the show!_

Pein was going to kill him!

He quickly patted his body down, searching for stitches his leader would be able to pull out.

He'd have to go and beg for forgiveness or something _weird_ like that. He'd probably be kicked in the face…

It wasn't a good idea to get down on his knees and beg…

He'd figure something out.

Maybe he should also thank Sasori for bringing him here?

No.

Not a good idea.

He'd thank Konan instead.

He got up, out of bed and walked – limped – to the door.

He wondered briefly if they were still serving breakfast right now but decided he didn't deserve any.

"Where were you last night?" Kiba ran up to him almost as soon as he stepped out into the light.

Naruto tackled him only a few seconds later as it seemed Kiba had been holding a ball.

"Foul," Sasuke sighed.

"What are you even playing, un?" Deidara asked, seeing most of the kids in the open space between the tent and the infirmary where the cars usually parked.

"We don't know," Kiba confessed in a strangled tone.

"We're making it up as we go along," Naruto added with a smile.

"Oh well… have fun with that un."

He walked – limped – away as quickly as possible. He loved the kids, he really did, but their games could be a little… _interesting_ at times. Especially since they were like _normal_ kids. As it was, he narrowly avoided being decapitated. If Konan caught wind of them throwing weapons around, she'd be pissed.

It was never good to be around something you knew Konan wouldn't like.

When he reached Pein's _office_ he simply stood outside. It was right there. Right _there_ and yet he couldn't bring himself to go inside.

He thought maybe he should just turn around. He knew he _could_ just run away. It would be easy and the only consequences would come _later_.

It was a cowardly thing to do which he might never forgive himself for but at least he wouldn't have to have teeth forcibly removed. From _all_ of his mouths.

That's be painful.

He was going to run when he heard talking but stayed put to listen.

"So, her predictions are _always_ right?"

"_Always_. It's not always immediate; it might take weeks, months, even years."

"That's just great."

"You shouldn't worry too much; Konan rarely ever gives accurate predictions to the Akatsuki. She thinks it's funny to mess with you."

Sasori sighed, "It's not me that I'm worried about."

"I'd pretend to be interested but I feel I should warn you first that we're being spied on."

"What?"

_Oh shit._

Deidara got ready to run but…

"Come-in, Deidara."

_Dammit!_

Pein wasn't a mind reader or anything like that but he somehow knew when you were around. He could sense it or something. Itachi had a similar talent but it was only really put to use for annoying Sasuke.

He reached out shakily and opened the door uncertainly.

Pein and Sasori both stared at him silently and he smiled sheepishly for a moment before finding something _very_ interesting about the carpet.

"What do you want, Deidara?" Pein asked, annoyed by his silence.

"I uh… un, about last night…"

"It's fine. Is that all you wanted?"

"w-what, un?"

Pein resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"I said it's fine, it's not like we were short an act. Now is that all or would you rather I pump you full of lighter fluid and light you up as final act?"

Deidara _seriously_ thought about it for a moment before he said, "I think I'll go now."

Sasori watched the little exchange with slight amusement, noticing that Deidara seemed genuinely afraid of Pein. He got the feeling that Pein's last question was more than just words spat out in annoyance, but a serious threat.

"You can leave now as well," Pein said, not bothering with pleasantries like remembering the kids name like he might've done had the other Akatsuki members not decided they disliked him – because leaders could follow trends too.

* * *

A few hours later, Deidara sat in a tree.

One of his favorite acts had always been when Itachi and Kisame fought. Not only was it bright, colorful and weirdly graceful, but it made for an interesting drawing.

Even though he'd seen them like this a billion times, he still never thoughts of Itachi as a fire elemental. Even though he came from the fire country, he seemed more like a wind elemental if he was being honest.

The way he moved was too light to be human – though in their world, nothing seemed very human.

Kisame could only move like that on or in the water. And Deidara… well it had been said – by Itachi – that grace just wasn't his forte. Though it had also been said – by himself – that it took a certain amount of _skill_ to do what he did.

Of course, they weren't the same thing, were they?

A lot of people, skeptics among the crowd wherever they were, would say the fights were staged so Itachi would always win, to add to the whole _mysterious, scary_ image he had going for him. However, for as long as Deidara had been with the Akatsuki, Kisame had never been able to win.

It was a fair fight every time too.

And yet even now, Itachi was always a step ahead. He barely needed to move to avoid an attack and always had one ready to throw back. It didn't help though, that Kisame was injured from the night before, he'd insist relentlessly that it was just a small burn, but being who he was, his body didn't exactly take well to such things.

The only good thing about it – maybe – was that Itachi might feel so guilty about it, that he'd trip up somewhere along the line, allowing the shark man a chance to win.

Though that wasn't very likely.

Deidara fell out of his tree as a poorly aimed blast of water – and a conveniently aimed blast of fire – collided, sending blasts of steams upwards and towards him with an alarming hiss and bursts of heat.

"Un, watch what you're doing, dumbasses!" he yelled once he'd picked himself up. He stared fiercely over at the disappointed frown on Kisame's face and the smirk on Itachi's.

There was exchanging of money.

Apparently they'd bet again on which tree Deidara was hiding it. He had no idea why Kisame still tried.

Deidara looked around to see a bunch of burnt out trees.

_Those idiots! Why the hell do they have to do this, ever single time?!_

"if you bastards wanted to be alone un, you could've just said so!"

He scowled and stomped – limped, whatever – back towards the camp.

It wasn't long before he ran into Hidan, who insisted on walking back with him.

Hey blondie, have you decided what you're gonna do tonight?" he asked. He was really asking, _'hey blondie, can I cut you open tonight?'_

Deidara sighed, "Sword and cage trick. I can't handle anymore high falls un."

"Sweet, can I be the one to..?"

"Sure un. Now leave me alone."

He'd be taken back to his own trailer and opened the door, though was thoroughly annoyed to see Sasori, staring at the wall, probably reading right into his soul.

Deidara didn't understand why every time he looked at the redhead, all he heard was the word _freak._ But he slammed the door shut nonetheless, "why don't we go work something out for _your_ act?"

* * *

The rest of the day leading up to the show was uneventful to say the least.

Sasori would've tried to talk to Deidara but felt that wouldn't exactly end well.

He didn't want to apologize for what he'd said. Try as he might, he couldn't say he was sorry. Because he wasn't. Not at all, not even a little bit. Though he had at least some kind of empathy, that didn't change the fact that what he'd said was true and though he was hurt when the word was used in relation to himself, he never blamed the speaker and he never thought of it as a lie.

If he apologized, well that would be even more disrespectful, being that he'd have lied as well.

They would just… have to get around it somehow.

But Deidara wasn't the only one in the Akatsuki and Sasori spent most of his time around Konan, helping to get things ready with the children – she had insisted that if he was going to be so annoying, he could at least help.

"You no, you're almost as annoying as he was when we first met," Konan sighed. She was helping a shy little ravenette with her hair.

Sasori didn't answer. He knew he wasn't supposed to.

"Seriously he was a real mess! He had this _psycho_ god complex. He always said he's be _god of the freaks_ and lead an uprising against the government in Konaha," she shook her head, smiling fondly, "the idiot thought if he could take Konaha, he could lead an army through the land and take over all the small villages until the world was his. Somehow, he always managed to forget about Kiri."

Konan looked happy now.

She had been doing that all day; one moment she was annoyed and the next, she'd be spouting out some completely random story about the _idiot_ they called leader, which would leave her happy.

Sasori had noticed that she didn't usually seem happy. No she was often… troubled; always with something on her mind, it seemed.

It must be awful seeing the future.

"It's not as bad as hearing the garbage that's constantly on your mind!" Konan snapped, accidently pulling roughly at the ravenette's hair, causing her to cry out. "Go and make sure the boys are all where they should be!"

Sasori sighed and pulled the needle through the purple material of the shirt he'd been fixing – he'd become quite adept at sewing as one was likely to with an angry blue woman yelling at you – one last time before setting it down and hurrying off to find the boys.

Shikamaru was found sleeping and was promptly woken up. Kiba, Akamaru and Naruto were found outside and were promptly lead back in. they were promptly followed in by Shino who had been out there the entire time. Sasuke and Chouji were found in the kitchen together, the room was an absolute mess and the two were arguing and covered in something foul smelling. They were promptly shoved into a bathroom and told to clean up.

When that was done, Sasori backtracked and cleaned the kitchen – forcing the boys he'd already found to help – since he knew he'd be told to do it anyway and besides, Deidara wouldn't be happy if the mess stopped him from having breakfast tomorrow.

With all the running around, Sasori felt like the Akatsuki's own personal _bitch_.

When he found Konan again, a clipboard was shoved at him and he was told to complete the checklist.

He had no idea looking after a bunch of circus kids – or kids in general – would be so difficult.

They were relentlessly loud, high-maintenance, needy and kept fussing with their clothes. He found it impossible to stop them from talking, let alone arguing with each other. And it was over the stupidest of things too!

Sasori was halfway through his checklist when Konan stomped in and snatched it off of him. the children immediately returned to the line they'd been put in.

"Alright, you and… _you_," she pointed out Shikamaru and Chouji, who remained surprisingly quiet, "first and second. After that, there'll be a few older acts. The rest of you, decide your own order, just be done in five minutes or their _will_ be consequences."

There was a unified shudder throughout the children and Sasori as well.

"if you have any questions or worries, feel free to ask my new slave, Sasori," she smiled sweetly and was about to walk away when it seemed she heard something unpleasant. She turned to Naruto with a frown and the boy, in turn, shrunk back, "sweetie, you're a talented kid, but if you jump from that height and _don't die_ I'll make sure you're in so much pain, you'll forget what it means to even _think_ let alone about something dangerous. And I'm sure Sasuke wouldn't be too happy about it either."

Apparently, she'd heard something in Sasuke's thoughts as well.

There was silence suddenly as all the children tried to blank out their thoughts and Naruto tried to ignore the obsidian eyes glaring at him.

Sasori wondered if Konan's mood swings were due to her insane personality, her psychic abilities or the stress of taking care of these kids.

But if it was the kids…. Then why would she do it?

Why did she do it anyway?

Again Konan stopped.

"Somebody's got to do it," she said, "somebody has to and god knows their parents won't. Hell, half of them have been abandoned here; you want me to do the same just because it doesn't make sense to you? Excuse me, for caring about a few kids who've never had anything besides this godforsaken circus."

Her last few words came out as a hiss and she stormed out without waiting for anybody else to think.

"You made her angry!" Kiba yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Sasori.

Sasori felt like he was going to be sick. The look on Konan's face was unmistakable; the shining eyes, the wobbling bottom lip, the fierce attempt at a scowl.

_I haven't made her angry… I made her cry._

* * *

**So uh... what do you think Konan's problem is?**


	6. S&M 6

**So i'm back. sorry that i've been gone for so long and that this is so short, but you can expect somewhat regular updates from now on ^^ so i was thinking i'd do a continuation of 'Does It Rain Where You Are?' a few years later centering around Sasuke and Naruto... any SasuNaru fans out there?! and you know... it'd have the akatsuki in the background of things...**

**OOH, I JUST STARTED WATCHING DURARARA! and i soooooooo badly ship Shinra&Celty! and SHIZAYA! i'll be honest, they're the reason i started watching the series...**

**if i dissapear again suddenly, just assume i've failed all my midyears, which by the way, were this week.**

* * *

His act was simple.

_Simple, _for one with no fear of death or extreme bodily pain. And he was feeling rather fearless today.

The plan was that he'd be put in a cage – not before he allowed a _volunteer_ – for good measure – to chain him up so he could barely move. At that point, a blindfold would be redundant but one would still be offered anyway.

Once he was actually on stage, tied up, blindfolded and placed awkwardly in a _small_ cage, the adrenaline and slight panic began to set in, because honestly, this trick was _dangerous_ and there was a very big risk of him dying.

But really, what were the chances of that happening _tonight?_

The conflicting voices in his head, one saying _this is absolutely safe_ and the other screaming, _what the hell are you thinking,_ were giving him a headache, which probably wasn't good for his focus but it all cleared up when he heard the distant, concerned whispers of the crowd who were already beginning to worry.

The cage itself was tested by a separate volunteer and sure enough, there were no loose bars, no trapdoors, no tricks.

Just a tied up blonde and a knife-happy psychopath.

It could be – and had been – argued that he had a power similar to Tobi's but as Deidara would readily assure you; he was simply one _hell_ of an escape artist.

The light changed slightly when Hidan tossed a red cloth over the cage, hanging just high enough that you could see the ground and know that there were no tricks.

Once he'd selected a couple of swords from a pile off to the side, Hidan tapped the cage twice to let the other know they were starting. He knew to wait exactly five seconds.

See, it took exactly three seconds for Deidara to get his hands free and two seconds for simple suspense.

The crowd always got a kick out of possible death situations and didn't hesitate to scream when the first sword stabbed through the red fabric.

Sasori watched from above, really wondering how the brat was expecting to survive this, but he guessed if there was any real danger, Konan would've stepped in by now, as that seemed to be the way things worked around here.

He had been thinking about her the whole time while watching the children preform – because _somebody_ had to stand out in the crowd and support them – and even more so now as he watched Hidan stab another eight swords into that cage – he swore one of them came out red.

He just couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't come back. She didn't seem the type to get _that_ upset.

The crowd screamed yet again and maybe louder this time, as a sword stabbed right through Hidan's neck and he fell forward, impaling himself on one of he sword ends sticking out of the cage. As he fell, he grabbed at the red cloth, pulling it to reveal Deidara was no longer there which kind of made sense seeing as he was the one holding the sword.

The chains lay still connected and locked up. Deidara still wore is blindfold but also displayed an arrogant smirk.

He was… happy?

Sasori couldn't quite tell.

From here, there seemed to be an emptiness in those eyes that no amount of bloodshed could fill.

The crowd continued to scream and cheer with a careful mix of terror and excitement and Deidara played the part of the performer, and bowed ungracefully, before doing his part as circus resident and dragging Hidan's still moving body off of the swords and off of the stage, leaving a trail of blood in their wake.

The crowd seemed less panicked by all the blood then they should've been which could potentially be credited to the fact that this was _Ame_ and bad shit happened here all the time. Or this was possibly just a very brave crowd. Whatever.

Sasori watched the final acts, seeing Itachi put to use that weird crow thing of his to _narrowly_ avoid losing a match and ending up nearly burning a kid sitting in the crowd – why they allowed kids in here was a mystery to Sasori – in the process of claiming victory. This was only the third time Sasori had seen the Uchiha's act but he could tell something was wrong. He watched Tobi pull a rabbit seemingly out of thin air and turn it into a bouquet of fake white flowers which he handed over with fake shyness, to a teen girl sitting in the front row. It seemed his act was more of service to the crowd then it was anything else, a sort of fluff segment to calm anyone who was uneasy due to the last few acts, though Sasori had been told by Konan earlier of times when Tobi's act could be a lot darker.

Of course after all of that, Sasori still had to get on stage, since he'd be last act for the duration of their week in Ame. He was warned not to try anything new for a while, as there was always a danger of hurting somebody, which was never good because _none_ of the Akatsuki wanted to cover up another death.

Deidara was walking back from the nurse in the dark while the rest of the performances earned screams and applause respectively. Sakura had not been happy to have to deal with Hidan in _that_ particular state. They both knew from experience that throat injuries were the worst to sew up, which is why they usually took care to avoid that area – unless fully severing his head.

But it had been _so much fun._

Deidara ran into Konan on the way back to the main tent, standing where she hadn't been before, a blank expression on her usually annoyed face, she didn't even look like she was thinking.

"Hey un, what's up?" he asked, his voice losing volume as he approached. He observed her deadened eyes and the blue nails digging into her stomach and could guess slightly what was going on. "Oh I see un, it's that time of the year again isn't it?"

Konan sighed, "Shut up," she said though the words held no malice or emotion of any sort. She sounded defeated in a sad little way. "Why aren't you preforming?"

"I already went un. I stabbed the fuck out of Hidan; you should've been there un."

Konan frowned, "I don't think guts and gore would be the best thing for me right now," though there was no doubt in the blondes mind that she _had_ seen it anyway. "But the crowd got a kick out of it, right?"

Deidara nodded.

There were a lot of things he wanted to say right then, but it seemed almost as though he were walking on broken glass with this issue and so he settled for something plain.

"It's beautiful here un, I really don't know why you left."

Out here away from the city, he could see the sky properly. The sight of such an endless void of black had always made him feel so small.

"Tch, you mean besides the violence, the murders and the street gangs?" Konan asked, smiling slightly.

"Not to mention the scores of guys out to kill you both un."

"Yes, let's not forget that." again the frown returned to her face and she murmured, "It isn't exactly the ideal place to raise a child, is it?"

"No un, I guess not. But you and leader turned out alright, don't you think?"

Konan shrugged, "it depends what you mean by _alright,"_ she looked up in the direction of the main tent and said, "come-on, you don't want to miss the final act, do you?"

Deidara yawned; it had been such a long day.

"Actually Konan un, I think I'm gonna head back. Go on without me."

He felt happy for a small moment when a knowing smile twisted her frown. "Suit yourself."


	7. S&M 7

**Sorry if this is short or if it sucks, but i think i've just planned out my plot ^^ sorry for the holes and flaws in my plot so far but i am hoping we can all just ignore it and get on with things.**

* * *

The next few days in Ame were weird ones for Sasori. He had made a twisted form of a routine for himself and spent most of everyday with Konan getting things done. She wasn't the one _technically_ in charge of doing all the things she did – cleaning, sewing, scolding, providing for and ultimately raising those children among other things – but Sasori guessed being able to read the future made her uneasy about trusting other people with such things.

That's if she wasn't just a quack.

Konan had been in a slightly less predictable mood since storming out the other night and Sasori had so far had to dodge five different kitchen items thrown at his head. Of course his dodging was always predicted and he'd end up being hit anyway.

But at least he knew it wasn't personal, as he witnessed a lot of the children – though mainly Kiba, Naruto and sometimes Shikamaru – receive the same treatment. It was so much worse when one of them – though usually Sasuke – had the gall to say she was a psycho.

Needless to say, they all repeatedly paid for such a mistake.

Sasori was overall beginning to think he'd found his place in the circus; the kids liked having him around, he was getting good at looking after them and he didn't have to interact with any of the Akatsuki.

But that changed on the fifth day they spent in Ame.

"There's no show tonight."

Those words, no matter how simple they seemed, caused chaos amongst the Akatsuki – though the circus children seemed happy enough for the break.

"What do you mean there's no damn show?!"

"Are we going out of business, un?"

"We can't _afford_ to miss a night!"

"What the hell do you expect Tobi to do with his time?!"

Pein and Konan were perfectly calm and almost seemed to _ignore_ the words being yelled at them.

"Pein and I have some errands to run in town which are going to take all day," Konan explained stiffly, "we don't care what you do with yourselves, just as long as nobody winds up dead."

"Will we be preforming tomorrow, un?" Deidara asked the question that everyone else seemed to have swallowed.

"Yes, assuming you're still alive tomorrow."

Deidara frowned, "what's that supposed to mean, un?"

And in turn, Konan smiled mischievously, "oh nothing. But I'd watch my back if I were you."

Pein sighed, casting a quick glance towards the sky. The sun had only just started to rise, giving reason to the fact that his subordinates all appeared exhausted and messy, but also giving an idea of the time.

"Quit teasing him, we're going to be late."

Konan laughed lightly, carefree, completely different from the way she usually was – though as most of the Akatsuki had witnessed, she was never herself around him. "it wouldn't be the first time, I'm sure Ame can wait."

Still, she cut off all conversation nonetheless.

Pein spared only a few words of warning before they left. The entire Akatsuki knew by now that his threats were genuine and if any damage was done they'd all end up dying a slow, painful death.

Anyway Sasori didn't know how it happened, but around midday he ended up at a small waterfall with the rest of the Akatsuki and some of the children. He thought maybe they were the ones who'd dragged him here and vaguely remembered being begged to accompany them here…

They could be really annoyingly persuasive when they wanted to.

About half of the Akatsuki had decided to make the most of their small holiday and go swimming while the other half sat watching apprehensively on the sidelines, watching Naruto, Kiba and Sasuke – having been goaded into it – attempt to scale the waterfall.

It was a strange day indeed, made almost stranger by the way that nobody had gone out of their way to be mean or cold to him. it was as though they were beginning to let up and offer their uncertain forgiveness. Either that or they were simply ignoring his presence.

"ITACHI, WATCH!"

Next to Sasori, Itachi sighed and looked up, squinting in the sun which shone down unusually bright directly above. Having expected to see Sasuke attempting to gain his brothers attention, Sasori was amused to see Kisame standing atop the large, overgrown cliff where the waterfall began, preparing to jump off.

"I swear if that idiot gets hurt, I'm leaving him here," Itachi lied, both to himself and the people directly around him, watching somewhat uneasily as the shark dived from a height that suddenly seemed impossibly dangerous, into the rocky depths below, causing an unreasonably high splash and waves which nearly drowned the other three.

"Watch what you're fucking doing, dumbass!" Hidan was the first to resurface, Tobi having teleported to safety straight away.

However his words fell on deaf ears, as once in the water again, Kisame couldn't care less about anything above the surface.

"They're worse than the children," Itachi sighed, watching disdainfully.

Of course _right now_ it would seem that way.

"You've clearly never seen them five minutes before the show. It's a wonder Konan hasn't slaughtered them all," Sasori decided this would be the perfect moment to test the waters, so to speak.

"Oh I've seen them," Itachi said, smirking slightly, "I still say the Akatsuki is worse."

"He's right," Kakuzu drawled lazily. He wasn't exactly the type to enjoy doing nothing and for him this was a complete bore – almost enough to contemplate mass murder – but the new kid was _talking_ and that was a rarity. "This is as normal as they get."

Sasori thought back to his first day here and to everything else he'd seen since then.

"And the three of you, I suppose you're just as strange?" he asked, including Zetsu in this.

"You're not so normal yourself kid," Kakuzu muttered.

"He's right, how are you even _alive?"_ oddly Zetsu sounded the most grossed out and Sasori couldn't help but laugh.

Strange. He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed.

"Honestly I have no idea. But then I could ask you all the same question."

It was a while before any of them answered, they seemed to think very carefully about what they wanted to say, as if it were a question worth a million dollars, but then Zetsu spoke.

"Really I don't think I would be, had it not been for Konan."

"Same here, Konan and Pein saved my life," Kakuzu agreed, almost begrudgingly.

Itachi offered only a nod in agreement.

Suddenly Sasori felt bad for struggling. He thought back on a week ago when he'd been cornered in Suna by a small street gang – they had similar problems in Suna as they had in Ame, only it wasn't as dangerous there – and ended up with blood on his hands, being chased down by the law.

He'd been terrified, having spent a majority of his life in a prison; did he really want to spend the rest of it in one?

No they'd probably have killed him, once they saw the monster he really was underneath.

Sasori cringed as he remembered how close he'd been to ending his own life at that time, though he hadn't been thinking straight, with fear suffocating his mind and any intelligent thoughts, he knew deep down that had Pein not shown up right then and forced him away, he would've gone through with it.

But he didn't get a chance to recognize or even voice this truth.

"Sasuke!"

Itachi was on his feet before Naruto had finished his distressed scream, preparing mindlessly to do something, _anything_ when he noticed his brother falling, having lost his grip on one of the slippery waterfall rocks.

At first though, it seemed like there was nothing any of them could really do but watch, even the children not in the water, with their strange little abilities could really only stare wide eyed and horrified as the younger Uchiha plummeted down towards the sharp rocks protruding beyond the water's surface, the kids still scaling the rocks beginning a fast, _dangerous_ descent.

The members of Akatsuki actually _in_ the water were also dumbstruck and stuck for ideas, panicking slightly and like everyone else, unable to look away.

But the panic and alarm was short lived as _someone_ at least had a clue and pale blue strings attached almost instinctively to the boy, controlling a sharp kick off of the rock wall and aiding the momentum that propelled the Uchiha away from danger. He landed safely – or at least somewhat so – in the middle of the adjacent lake with a loud, _large_ splash, surfacing quickly with the aid of little blue strings.

It was the only time Sasori had ever been _thankful_ for that strange little gift that went along with his mutilated human-puppet appearance and he watched in cautious relief as things unfolded.

Sasuke was dragged from the water by Kiba and Naruto who had managed to land gracefully from a safe distance into the icy depths. He was then wrapped in a towel and thoroughly _yelled at_ by his older brother, much to mostly everyone's amusement.

Certain things like _dangerous, reckless, thoughtless_ and _idiotic_ were thrown around and Sasuke was dragged back to the camp by his ear.

It _was_ getting late and so Sasori began to round up the rest of the kids, feeling it was what Konan would be doing if she were here right now.

By the time he had them all in one place, the Akatsuki were mostly dry and ready to leave.

Sasori couldn't help but feel like a mother duck when the children fell in line and followed him.

Kisame fell into step with him, smiling and staring forward he said, "You know, I didn't like you much when you first got here," _yeah, like that wasn't obvious,_ "but now I think you'll fit in just fine."

* * *

After that single incident, it was a lot easier to interact with the Akatsuki. Well, with some of them anyway.

His relationship with Itachi definitely improved, though Sasuke was still sour over the whole thing, insisting that he would've been fine and that it wasn't _that _dangerous.

Of course when Konan got back, she knew about the whole thing and warned all three boys that if they ever did anything like that again she'd cut their hands off. Why she chose hands was far beyond either of them but they didn't bother to ask.

Routine picked back up and they had two days left in Ame before they had to move on. He didn't know where they were going but he knew the further they got from Suna the better.

Konan was in a lot better of a mood after going into town and told the children stories of what she called her _adventures _from the previous days. Apparently she and Pein had been to see a few friends they had in town, collect a few debts and revisit the orphanage where they'd grown up. They'd also run into some people who _weren't_ old friends, who they were forced to deal with. Nothing they couldn't handle though.

Konan's stories were oddly captivating for both the children and Sasori himself. He found himself enjoying the certain spark of life her voice added to the words and the way her actions and expressions would bring the whole thing to life. Of course he could still see that pain in her eyes and he still felt guilty for a while.

Until things picked back up at their usual pace and he was running around doing every little thing for her. He couldn't even remember how he'd been roped into doing this, but it felt almost like he'd been doing it his entire life. Everything felt right all of a sudden, with the circus, the kids, Konan and the Akatsuki.

Only one thing was still out of place and he thought about it for long periods of time during the night, just staring at the diary written all over the walls.

He'd been told many times about Deidara. He wasn't the kind of kid to hold any sort of grudge or to be mean in anyway and yet he was stubborn and independent. He didn't need anybody and often went days without some much as looking at the other members. But according to everyone, it shouldn't have been so hard to befriend him.

_Dammit what the hell is wrong with me?_

Sasori had taken to staring at his reflection when he passed a window, to try and see a trace of himself and yet, since he got to the circus it was like the person he used to be, had completely disappeared.

It had been such a quick transformation, he hadn't even noticed it.

And now suddenly, despite the way they looked, the way they behaved and the weird little attributes they had that kept them from being _normal_, Sasori wanted to be a part of the Akatsuki and that also meant he wanted to be their friend. He wanted to be a part of this little family but he felt Deidara's behavior towards him hindered that.

"Quit thinking so much about him, it's getting on my nerves," Konan said irritably.

It was the first time she'd attended the acts since their first night in Ame.

"Sorry," Sasori muttered.

Konan laughed a little hearing that, showing that she wasn't completely annoyed.

"You're like a little school girl, you know?" she said, swinging her legs back and forth like a child, "it's adorable."

Somehow that word just didn't seem right coming from her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh _come-on!_"

Sasori frowned. Perhaps her psychic abilities caused her to think everyone was somehow extremely insightful?

"Whatever, I've gotta go up there."

On another side of the tent, completely oblivious to the near obsessive thoughts rolling over in Sasori's mind, Deidara sat cross-legged, applying medicine which Sakura had given him, to rope burns on his wrists and ankles.

He had noticed the change within the Akatsuki and felt inclined to either ignore it or go with the flow. The thing about him though was that he wasn't a very _flow_ kind of guy. In fact often was the case, that if a group of people were doing something, he'd feel the uncontrollable urge to do the opposite.

What was it that Konan had called him…?

Right; a stubborn little brat who couldn't tell right from wrong.

He thought maybe she was right about this one.

After all, Sasori wasn't necessarily a bad guy; he was nice enough once he got past the whole _freak_ thing. But somehow that wasn't enough to fully exonerate him. it still didn't feel like he was _really_ one of them.

This would be the first time he'd see Sasori's act.

So far he'd managed to miss every other show due to health issues after his own act, but after seeing what he saw yesterday, he just _had_ to know and so his burns were all but ignored.

Sasori was introduced as a human puppet. What could that possibly mean?

Of course as the act progressed, Deidara understood _exactly_ what it meant.

He found he couldn't tear his eyes away from the strange sight as Sasori removed his cloak, nor could he look away when he saw what was hidden underneath; much more horrifying and _weird_ than his hand mouths or many of the other abnormalities within the Akatsuki.

And yet, he wasn't _horrified_ like he guessed he should be.

He found it all rather amazing, interesting, tantalizing in a sick way.

He watched on wondering what it _felt_ like and whether Sasori felt anything at all. Most of him still looked pretty human and yet it was as though he weren't human at all.

Deidara decided right then, right at that moment as he sat in the crowd like an innocent, normal observer, that he would ignore the flow and ignore that little voice in his mind telling him to move against what everyone else was doing. All he could really think about right then and there was discovering the secrets about Sasori and his body.

He didn't know that fate had other things planned for him. he didn't know that right at that moment, danger was lurking just beyond the corner waiting for him, he didn't know that soon there would come a time where idle thoughts like this would vanish completely into a deep, unforgiving darkness.

Across the room, Konan heard the thoughts of a young blonde and smiled bitterly. For she knew what lay ahead, and she knew by now, that there was no going back.


	8. S&M 8

**sorry i haven't updated in a while, i wish there was a valid excuse, but i can't currently think of one. i've just been too lazy/uninspired/oh and did i mention that everyoe i thought i loved desserted me?**

**not that that has anyhting to do with any of you...**

**well, you know what they say, what doesn't kill you makes you a better writer ^^**

**actually i decided to write this after a few reveiwers asked me too. i felt like a major jerk for simply abandoning you this way. so i wrote a longish chapter just for you guys ^^ you can expect regular updates from now on and i promise i wont abandon you anymore until my next story.**

**just out of curiosity (and totally unrelated) does anyone else think of megamind and minion, as the evil version of Ed and Al?**

* * *

Deidara found himself alone in his room, staring up at the roof and wondering when he had ever been, _that_ person. The person who had written so much about hating life, wanting to die, wanting to escape. He wondered distantly is it was ironic that, as an escape artist, all he wanted to do was get away.

He wasn't entirely unhappy here; not like he'd been when he first came here.

Konan had done a good job of making him feel welcome, by treating him like dirt to snap him out of the depression he'd been in. it took him a long, long time back then, to realise that even though he'd been caught, he wasn't exactly in trouble.

Now, whenever he looked back at it, he wondered how he'd _ever_ gotten the nerve to steal from Konan, knowing very well who she was and having heard rumours circulating his village about her.

But he found it better not to think about such things.

He'd been saved back then, from a terrible situation. He should be grateful.

They'd be moving on in the morning. Not as early as the last time, no they'd have to wake up at some annoying, _ungodly_ hour and pack up before they could go to Taki which would be a drag, but then straight after that, they'd be heading to Konaha. That was probably the best village to visit, not only because there were so many people and so much stuff, but because most of the children, as well as Itachi, got to return to their families. It was nice seeing them happy.

The door to his room opened. Right, it wasn't just _his_ room anymore. He kept forgetting that.

Which brought him to the actual matter at hand.

He'd seen Sasori's act.

He _definitely _was in no position to call _anybody_ a freak. And yet, Deidara didn't think he was one either. Sure, he was crossing the lines between puppet and man – or you know, he'd already crossed and destroyed them – but that wasn't to say he wasn't… he couldn't be… uh…

Deidara completely lost his train of thought and settled instead for just staring up at the ceiling. Something about this village was slowly making him lose his mind.

Sasori didn't think any differently of the silence that filled his room that night. Deidara hadn't spoken to him in a while and though it was beginning to become annoying, he made no move to speak to the blonde.

They'd be moving on in the morning.

He supposed he should simply focus on what the new village would think of him and be happy that he no longer had to be final act.

He lay down on his own bed, his side of the room was much emptier than the other side and he thought it lacked the characteristics he'd expect from a real home. But this wasn't a real home; it was only a place to stay while he got his life together.

He closed his eyes, expecting to fall asleep undisturbed but was interrupted in the middle of his fading thoughts.

"Weird, un," was really all the blonde said, and even then it was quite hard to hear him.

"Never said I was normal," Sasori said just as just as quietly. Without looking, he knew the brat was wearing a lazy smirk.

"It would've been _so_ much better if you had, un," he said.

The light sound of shuffling filled the room and Sasori opened his eyes, looking slightly to the side only to see azure eyes staring back at him from across the room. Deidara lay on his side, curled up slightly with his hands beneath his head, looking like a child watching him carefully and with great interest.

Somehow Sasori felt like they were worlds apart and turned onto his side if only to get a little closer.

"So what happens now?" he asked tentatively.

Deidara took a deep, tired breath. "I'd planned to call you a freak un," he said, "and a bunch of other mean things, once I found out what you really were. I thought maybe it was really bad un, and maybe I'd be scared. But I'm not."

Sasori wanted to ask him why not, but knew it was a dumb question because of the place the blonde lived and the people he chose – or not – to associate himself with. Hell, his best friends in this place were equally, if not more so, messed up.

So he dropped it.

"Do then, you forgive me?"

"For now, un. You make Konan and the kids happy and you saved mini Uchiha. You seem like a nice guy when you're not being a hypocritical, xenophobic jerk."

"Wow, are you _sure_ you don't have anything bad to say about me?"

Deidara laughed a little, his eyes drooping closed.

"Shut up, un," he said. There was a pause, presumably where he fell asleep before being jolted awake, "Un, how did that happen to you anyway?"

Sasori couldn't help the growl and harsh words that escaped, "none of your business, brat," he said.

Deidara wasn't deterred or even affected though.

"I was born like this, the way I am, un," he said, "my parents didn't want me after they figured out there was no way to fix me. That was when I was about three, un."

"You've been here since you were _three?_" Sasori asked incredulously.

He felt guilty for listening to Deidara's life and yet not sharing his own, but at the same time, he felt he wasn't even _near_ ready to share his own story. He didn't feel like making fresh wounds feel worse and thought maybe he'd simply rip them open later when he forgot how much it hurt to think about _home._

"No un, I lived in an orphanage until I was about five. Then another orphanage until I was seven. I was in foster care for two and a half years after that un, until I just gave up on ever finding a loving family."

"Then the Akatsuki found you?"

"Not quite un; I was twelve when they found me. Well technically, Konan found me." _or I found her, whichever way you chose to look at it._

"You spent three years on your own?" Sasori was beginning to dislike hearing about Deidara's life. It seemed awfully sad and he didn't like the idea of Deidara not smiling, now that he'd started doing so again.

"Yeah un, but it was no big deal. Tons of idiots in Iwa and my situation wasn't as bad as some of the others in the Akatsuki, un."

"So how did you get here then? How did they find you?"

"You mean besides Konan's psychic powers. Un?"

"Yeah brat, besides that."

"Okay un, it's a bit of a boring story, poverty, crime, me being a really bad kid. I'll just stick to the important bits, un."

He paused to yawn again, tears coming to his eyes which he quickly rubbed away.

"Okay brat, whatever works for you."

* * *

_The sun shone down hot and bright over the market place where people roamed unsuspecting of his earlier ploy and the items missing from their pockets. He'd been doing this for a total of three years – though it had been longer if you counted the years where he was in the custody of a negligent caregiver – and so it was no wonder those idiot tourists didn't stand a chance._

_They would've been better off travelling to somewhere nicer, like Konaha, because at least crime rates there were higher for murder than petty theft, but the travelling circus seemed to be cause for a lot of new people in town and that simply couldn't be helped._

_He was actually trying to save up for a ticket, having no parents to take him there and no actual job to help him, he was left with only his talents as a pickpocket and patience._

_He could've resorted to the tricks he'd learnt as a street performer, like he usually would, only this was a different day and the money was for a different cause. If he spent the entire day tied up or upside down, he knew he'd simply spend the money on matches and end up burning something down._

_Many locals referred to him with the word arsonist next to his name no that was by no means true. Sure, most of the burnt out buildings in the inner city were his fault and 75% of all fires were because of him but he'd never been paid to do it. That simple fact would later lead to Pein's use of the word pyromaniac, when he would be forced to speak of his past, upon revealing the numerous burn marks up and down his arms._

_It had been a good crowd that day and he sat on a roof overlooking the still flooded market place and staring at the total amount of crap he'd gotten his hands on that day. It was sorted into piles of money, jewellery and fake gold as well as one ring stolen from a woman who was really quite hard to forget and had stood out not only to him._

_She'd been wearing a black cloak with red and white clouds scattered across it in no particular pattern, her dark blue hair was adorned with a white origami flower and she stared on with clouded amber eyes. He knew she was a part of that circus that was travelling round, because he'd seen that posters at least twenty times that day and yet it seemed like there was nothing particularly odd about her. This ring though, it was plain silver with a circular white bump on the top, with a bold black Japanese character on it._

_It meant nothing in particular to him, he didn't think it would sell for much and it wasn't even nice but he couldn't help but feel a sort of call pulling him towards it the moment he first saw it._

_He twirled it around his fingers for a moment before slipping it on, it was really loose and kept slipping off when he moved his hand, but was always quickly caught by the ever helpful tongue protruding from a cavity in his hand, that some may call another mouth – well that's exactly what everyone called it and he had another one just like it on the other hand, precisely the reason he was stuck doing this sort of thing._

_He watched the people in the marketplace walk around like nothing had happened and as though he didn't even exist. It was a sad, almost unreal existence he had, anyway._

_"You must think you're pretty clever, huh kid?"_

_"Un, you're back for your ring?" he didn't have to turn around to know who was speaking to him. He hadn't even heard her voice and yet he automatically knew what that blue haired woman would sound like._

_"It's dangerous for a child to be going around doing things like this, if I don't kill you now, no doubt somebody soon will."_

_But he wasn't about to listen to her. He had a show to see. He had to know there was something else out there, people who were just like him._

_"You can have it back un, just don't tell anybody I'm up here."_

_Because if she'd come all this way for the ring, it must've been special to her as well._

_He held it out to her, without turning around and smiled slightly when he felt her snatch it from the teeth that held onto it tightly._

_"I really don't like you," she said sounding almost thoughtful, "but if you have the guts to steal from me, I'd say that at least gets you a free ticket to tonight's show. That's what you want."_

_It wasn't a question, because somehow, she knew._

_"Un, thank you ma'am, for the offer, but I don't need your charity."_

_Again, he didn't have to look back to know she was scowling, glaring a hole in the back of his head._

_"My name's Konan, not ma'am and if you know what's good for you you'll never call me that again," she growled in a rather un-ladylike way, "now you're coming with me, whether you like it or not, you got that?"_

_And that had been that._

* * *

It was some ungodly hours of the morning when Sasori was woken up.

He didn't remember having fallen asleep, but he remembered hearing Deidara's story. It seemed that, in a literal sense, Konan had saved his life, even though he'd done something bad. He remembered laughing at Deidara's stubbornness, and finding a strange sense of understanding in his words and the way he said them.

It was like, _why me?_

_Why waste your time?_

_Can't you see I'm a freak?_

_Don't you understand that I'm better off dead?_

Those things had been running through his mind when he'd been saved by Pein and he was sure the same thoughts ran through Deidara's mind.

Suddenly, he didn't really mind being here and so far away from home. He didn't feel so alone. He didn't feel unwanted, he didn't feel unnatural or anything. He was happy for the first time in a very long time.

So he helped to pack up without complaint, even when he couldn't find the brat anywhere. Konan wasn't around either so he assumed they'd gone off somewhere together.

He was told they'd be going to Taki. He had no idea what that would be like. He was excited to try something new and apparently, it was Kakuzu's hometown. He wasn't too happy to be going back, but Sasori could understand that. When and if they went back to Suna, he would do everything in his power to simply stay in his room.

His thoughts strayed quickly to Deidara and he looked out through the darkness that suddenly surrounded the camp, ignoring the tired demands of the children who had decided to follow him around.

He hoped the brat was alright.

* * *

Deidara stood silently in amongst the trees, wishing he could do something to console his friend but knowing deep down at the same time that nothing needed to be done. She could sense his sympathy and either appreciated it or found it annoying.

Either way he was covered.

Konan sat on the ground, legs crossed, arms folded, head bowed.

This was probably one of the only times he'd ever see her looking this small and vulnerable.

A cross was embedded in the ground directly in front of her, formed out of weathered rocks, unmoved since the last time they were here. Untouched since the first time Konan had come here.

Deidara leaned back against a tree and let himself fall slowly to the ground.

The silence was interrupted only by the rustling of the trees, the chirp of crickets and the slight, concerning forest sounds.

"How many years n –"

"Thirteen," Konan answered in a voice that sounded so dead. Her folded arms tightened around her stomach and Deidara wondered briefly if – "I'm not crying you idiot!" she yelled. Her body shook in a way that contradicted her words. "I don't even care! It's not like I didn't see it coming anyway!"

Indeed, Deidara often wondered what a curse it must be to not only see the fate of everyone around you, but to see your own terrible future just ahead with no way to stop it.

"Why didn't you just try again, un?" he asked carefully, surprised when he didn't get cut off.

"You don't know what it feels like," she whispered harshly, "to see something terrible around every corner. If I tried again, I'd only end up with the same results; I'm sure of it."

Deidara thought he heard her laughing, though it was almost demented and certainly not the happy type of laughter.

"My body wasn't made to support life," she said. "I kill _everything_ I come into contact with," she rose to her feet, blue hair hanging in her eyes. Now that she was up, Deidara could see fresh tear tracts down her face, "you're all dying, _all of you_. And I can _see_ it and there's nothing! Nothing I can do about it!"

Deidara tried to smile, but really couldn't while his friend was falling apart this way.

"Everybody dies un," he said, "except for Hidan," he guessed that was why Hidan was her favourite. Because nothing bad would ever happen to him. "You me, and the rest of the Akatsuki are going to die someday, un. It's inevitable."

"Yeah," Konan said bitterly, turning back towards the camp. They'd be leaving in around five minutes. "But you don't have to carry the burden of knowing exactly when and where."

She couldn't bear to look at Deidara right then, because his fate hung over him as a constant reminder and she couldn't stand it right now. Not when she knew the end was suddenly so close.


	9. S&M 9

**Regular updates, as i said.**

* * *

The majority of the trip to Taki was spent sleeping due to the early hour they'd gotten up. The trip to Taki was a little longer than the one to Ame since they had to cut through another village in order to get there.

The road train drove all noisy and bumpy for around fire hours before Sasori was once again dragged out of bed. This time by Konan. He didn't question it at all and ran around the road train doing small, insignificant things for her which she apparently couldn't do herself.

By then, most of the children were awake and it was Sasori's job to keep them away from the sleeping members of Akatsuki. Naruto and Kiba were relentlessly running through the storage carts, causing boxes to crash and fall and each time they narrowly avoided getting hurt.

Shikamaru and Chouji were fine; one was content to sleep and the other was fine sitting around and stuffing his face. In fact, most of the children were alright, despite their obvious restlessness, they did what they told, unlike the two boys who Sasori ended up having to drag back forcefully to avoid any further damage to the circus' property.

When they reached the dining cart, Sasori looked outside briefly to see that it was around midday and they were currently travelling through a small merchant town, a lot like the one back in Suna which he had once called his home. It seemed all but abandoned though he could recognise the small, subtle signs of life. He knew that people in small spaces like this, were generally untrusting, as he had been before.

"where have you been?" Konan asked. Her voice seemed less angry and demanding then it usually did.

Sasori only gestured towards the children he'd apprehended, because she must've _known._

"Whatever. It'll be lunchtime soon, I need you to go to the infirmary and see if Sakura wants anything.

_Infirmary? What is she doing there? Nobody was injured last night so…_

"Just _do it_, alright?"

"Okay."

So he left towards the infirmary, trusting that the children would be fine. He had to pass through the dark, creep rooms of still sleeping Akatsuki members – didn't _normal_ trains have a hall to separate these things – although he found that when they were sleeping, the Akatsuki wasn't so bad. They looked almost like children, though the word _innocent_ might be a bit of a stretch.

He figured out that most of the Akatsuki were light sleepers, and was cursed out of Hidan and Kakuzu's room, and had stuffed animals relentlessly thrown at him until he left Tobi alone. Kisame and Itachi's room, however, was empty, which was weird because he hadn't seen them all day.

The infirmary was currently located between his and Deidara's room, and Pein and Kona's which was the last cart of the road train so that nobody thought to go there.

He entered the impromptu waiting room – why they even needed one was beyond him, nobody around here was patient enough to _wait_ – and expected to find it empty but instead, found Kisame on the floor, sleeping leaned up against a wall. The shark was shocked awake however, by the sound of the door slamming shut.

"what happened?" he asked, looking towards the other door which led into the infirmary, looking around in a confused manner for a while after seeing no one, before he spotted Sasori. "wat are you doing here?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing."

Kisame frowned, rubbing sleep from his eyes, looking perfectly normal as he thought of an answer, but he seemed to deflate when he remembered why he was here.

"Itachi's sick," he said in a voice that said he didn't want to believe the words himself.

"But he looked fine before we left."

Kisame nodded distantly. "He has his good weeks and his bad days. It's sort of unpredictable, but today was a bad day."

"Well what does Konan say about it?" Sasori really wasn't expecting a positive answer.

Kisame sighed, "Whenever I ask if he'll get better or not, she yells at me and says she doesn't have time to humour me. I don't think that's a good sign."

_No, it certainly isn't._

"So why aren't you in there with him?"

Kisame shrugged, "what am I supposed to do? Hold his hand and tell him everything's gonna be okay? He'd only tell me that he'd not a child and I'm not to treat him as one. He'd say he's old enough to figure out the truth and that he's come to terms with it and…"

"You can't handle it?"

Kisame nodded, "if I stay out here, I can pretend this isn't happening. I can pretend he isn't…" he trailed off, not wanting to say _that_ word.

Sasori decided he better go inside and do as he'd originally been told, lest Konan kill him. But he stopped at the door with words he couldn't hold back.

"We're all dying Kisame," he saw the other practically flinch at the word, like it was some sort of monster or disease, "but it's up to the people around us, whether or not we die _alone._"

* * *

Kisame entered the room tentatively. It was still relatively the same as when he'd left a few hours ago, having brought a sick-beyond-ability-to-walk, Uchiha here, though it was now calm and lacked the previous urgency.

He'd waited until Sasori left, before he decided to heed his advice. Though now he felt himself regretting it.

Kisame was by no means a weak person, not emotionally and certainly not physically, and yet just _seeing_ Itachi this way, tore him to shreds inside. In these moments, the _bad_ days, which were slowly increasing, he looked almost like a corpse – more so then usual – he was small and frail looking, as if a simple touch would snap him in half. He was paler then usual and his eyes had thick, dark bruises beneath them. His hair was matted with sweat and dried blood from the fall he'd taken earlier that morning and no matter how hard he tried to hide it, every breath he took hurt.

This wasn't like the days he'd spend what seemed like _hours_ throwing up, and it wasn't like what happened when he pushed himself too far, though those were also hard to deal with, _this_ was the worst kind of bad day. When it seemed the life had been sucked completely out of him and he was on the verge of death.

Kisame wouldn't be considered emotionally weak by _anybody_ and yet he considered himself to be a complete emotional _wreck_ in moments like this.

They brought back old memories, when they'd first met, on a broken path in Konaha; Itachi had been in a similar state.

Tobi had been dragging him along, barely managing to do so as Itachi insisted stubbornly that he could walk just fine on his own, while managing to ensure a much younger Sasuke that everything would be okay.

Kisame remembered back then, that Sasuke had been oblivious to everything, and had skipped ahead, saying how strong his brother was and how brave he must be. He wasn't around to hear Tobi whispering, _"what if this time, you don't get better? What if we don't make it back on time? What if you just keep getting worse and worse?"_

Itachi had sighed at that moment, managing only just to keep himself up but leaning heavily against Tobi, "_if that happens, take care of Sasuke for me."_

Kisame remembered stepping forward at that point, having been walking a bit behind the pair and feeling an urge to help somehow.

_"Hey, is he alright?"_

Both Uchiha's had looked back, staring disinterestedly at him. They must've known about the circus going through their town and they must've known he was a part of it and yet they seemed unconcerned.

_"I'm fine, don't concern yourself with me, it won't do anybody any good."_

Sasuke had raced back and said, _"But brother, you can barely walk!"_

_"I'll be fine, Sasuke," _Itachi had said.

Tobi had other ideas, _"the doctors in town said they couldn't help you. Maybe this guy can,"_ he said quietly. Back then, Tobi wasn't childish and free. He became that way after having the Akatsuki to look after him and having the burdens of life taken away from him.

_"my friend used to be a doctor," _Kisame said, _"he's pretty old so he's probably seen something just like this. Come-on, I can take you there. I promise I don't bite."_

Itachi had reluctantly gone, on the insistence of both Tobi and Sasuke. Kakuzu had been unable to help but, but after seeing Sasuke and Tobi running around using their _special talents_ the three had been offered a spot in the circus. The Akatsuki had gone to Konaha to recruit, anyway.

That had been that. A simple talk with the Uchiha's, who were secretly happy to get rid of their small group of _freaks,_ and a small courtesy payment later, Sasuke, Tobi and Itachi were part of their travelling circus. Back then, the bad days had been months apart, but it wasn't like that anymore.

Sometimes Kisame regretted walking down that road, finding those boys and offering to help them. he wished sometimes that he'd heeded Itachi's silent warning, that if he got any closer, he'd get hurt.

But now wasn't the time for such things.

He stood near the entrance of the makeshift room, separated only by curtains. Sakura was rushing around, trying to get things done, trying to figure out – for the millionth unsuccessful time – what was wrong and if there was a way to fix it.

She didn't see him.

But Itachi did. Their eyes locked and nothing needed to be said after that.

It was a small step. Kisame allowed himself into the room but still wouldn't allow himself to accept it. Not completely. Not yet. But he told himself, that if this was real, if this had to happen, if Itachi was going to… _die_, then he at least deserved to have somebody by his side when it happened.

"You didn't send me there to find out what Sakura wanted, did you?" Sasori dropped the piece of paper with the nurse's order on it, onto the counter.

"No. I can read her mind from here," Konan replied. She didn't turn around and continued watching to make sure the children didn't burn anything. "I was getting annoyed is all. Kisame's an idiot and Itachi is too proud to ask for support."

"So you knew that would happen?"

Konan stopped for a moment before making a quick decision.

"No. as soon as you decided to interfere, I lost my vision. I had no idea what would happen," she thought for a moment, listening for something before she said, "I take it they're happy, then?" or as happy as people in their situation could be.

Sasori ignored the question.

"What's wrong with Itachi?" he asked.

Konan growled, "None of your business!" she snapped, pulling a list out of her pocket and shoving it towards Sasori, but she was refused almost immediately.

"You know something; you _must_ know something that could help."

"Why do you even care?" Konan spat back, "a few weeks ago you were living on the streets, doing _god knows what_ to survive and didn't give a _fuck_ about anybody in this place!"

_Really not a good sign._

"Konan please," he tried a gentler tone, "if there's anything, _anything _at all…"

"There's nothing we can do," she said quietly.

She was well aware of all the children watching her, including Sasuke. She could hear the thoughts running through his mind right then.

She could only imagine how it felt.

She handed the list back to Sasori and said, "We'll be in Taki in two hours. I need you to do the blue half before then and the red half when we get there."

Sasori took the list without another word.

* * *

Deidara woke when the road train stopped.

He'd slept the entire day away.

He heard the commotion and uproar which meant people were getting off. He had to help set up since they had a show that night, in a few hours actually. He hated working under pressure but was thankful that he wasn't in Sasori's position and didn't have to run around after the children. Not that he didn't love the children, but they were a handful even on a good day.

He helped to set up the main tent; they got it up without any problems. They got the rooms in the standard circle while the main circus got settled in the opposite part of the grounds. They were then called to the main tent by Pein for a pre-show briefing.

Eight out of ten showed up. Deidara would've been concerned about what would happen to Itachi and Kisame afterwards but he knew Itachi had health problems and so would no doubt be forgiven.

"Itachi is sick," Pein said, "and will not be able to make the show. As a courtesy, I will not be pressing Kisame to preform either which means we will be an act short."

"Does that me you're going to step in?" Tobi asked excitedly.

Pein disregarded his question. "so the two of you," he pointed at Tobi and Zetsu, "are going to have to do separate acts."

These words were met with thunderous protest. Though _thunderous_ was probably not the best word to describe Tobi, _squeaky_ was probably a more accurate description. Though _whiny_ would work just as well here.

"Enough! I don't care about your psycho hang-ups and co-dependency. Konan, you'll be first, then Zetsu, Deidara will be third, Kakuzu you'll be assisting Hidan, then Tobi will be straight after and we'll finish with Sasori.

"What? I wasn't supposed to be final act in this town!" Sasori exclaimed.

"Don't care," Pein said, "it's really not my problem."

In other words, _do as you're told._

"Konan," Tobi said, looking rather sad, even through his mask, "will Itachi be alright?"

For a moment it seemed as if Konan would snap at him but somehow she seemed unable to do it and turned away, an unreadable look in her eyes.

"He'll be up and walking by tomorrow," she said.

"Will he be able to perform?" Pein asked, genuinely interested by the fact that Konan was being so open with her visions.

"He'll perform," Konan confirmed. She didn't have to see the eyes to know they were all staring at her now.

She felt that wall was about to crumble and under this pressure she might accidently do the exact thing she'd always struggled to avoid; telling the Akatsuki their real futures. She knew that revealing too much could be detrimental to the _world balance_ or whatever and so she stormed off without a word, before any further questions could be asked.


End file.
